Episode Transcript
[00:00:22] Speaker A: Welcome to the WOW Within. My name is Jen Potter and I am your host. Where we tell stories and get to hear from people who have experienced life changing moments where they have gone through things in their lives that have literally changed the course of their life. And today I have Susan Drayton. She is an author and artist of many canvases. She's absolutely talented in all of the different fields as well as reiki and tarot, reading, painting, artistry, all of, all of the things. Again, I get so excited every time I have her on the show because she does all of these incredible things and she's such a pleasure to talk to you. So thank you so much for joining us today.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: Thank you for having me.
[00:01:03] Speaker A: Absolutely. And you look amazing at glowing. We were talking about it right before, right before we started talking and so having you on today is really exciting because we've, we've talked about different things every time we have you on and there's always a story, there's always more. And one of the things that we are talking about is you have, you've gone through several things to get to where you are right. And, and typically when you go through things, they're, they're painful, there's a struggle and it's, it's finding that wow through all of those. And so if you just want to, you know, kind of jump in and how does that make you feel? What are, what are those stories that, that come right to, you know, your head when we start talking about that.
[00:01:49] Speaker B: The self. The self is what gets lost in the journey that we are intentionally creating or not being pixelated and wanting to people please in the past and doing the right thing. But the right thing was about doing right by others and others assumption of you and who you should be and become and so forth.
In the journey of that illusion. I truly was denied a lot and didn't execute what was needed to execute because I wasn't living authentically in my path. I was living under what other people assume, assumed I should be and should want to be according to them.
So therefore, as I was getting ignored and looked over, obviously I would feel a shift in my emotions that were depressing, full of anxiety and doubts and forget about courage that wasn't there nor was confidence.
So as time went on, I had to face those shadow sides of me.
Everybody thinks when they go through the shadow side, it's so beautiful. It's going to be uniform wings and all that.
Yeah. No, no, no.
[00:03:39] Speaker A: It's ugly.
[00:03:40] Speaker B: Yes it is. But it has its moments that you're like, yay, I think I have this. And it's like, oh God, I got unicorn poop instead.
[00:03:49] Speaker A: I mean, but unicorn poop is pretty too, right?
[00:03:55] Speaker B: So it's really about can you make the choice, but whose choices are you going to make according to whose choices.
[00:04:04] Speaker A: Is that is a beautiful question. Yeah.
[00:04:08] Speaker B: Is it going to be yours or is it going to be, you know, theirs? So there you go, down the rabbit hole where you're going to have to make that decision of who am I and how do I start this?
And it's truly getting into that alignment of who you are when you don't know who you are. So, so the only thing you're left with is that thirst be thirsty in the wondering of who are you and what are you capable of? And what song are you meant to sing according to your lyrics and melody, not someone else's.
[00:04:54] Speaker A: And that's, and that's a hard question. Right? So it's, it's, it's amazing because we haven't had this conversation directly, but the universe has been giving me this conversation because I recently had this conversation with somebody else off the air. And you said, but who are we? And it takes a lot of self reflection. Right. It takes a lot of self like conversation. Sitting with yourself in quiet times and asking yourself, what do I truly want? And not somebody else, but for ourselves and for a lot of our lives. Like you said, you're a people pleaser, right? Just like myself. I'm a recovering people pleaser. I still fall into it sometimes as we all do, as we're trying to figure out, you know, what you. Right, right. And because we're human and we're on this, we're on this journey and we still, it's, it's in our DNA to want to please other people. And you know, we go through these, these, these motions where, hey, what do you want for dinner? And the other person goes, I want pizza. And you go, well, I want Chinese. And then the other person who wants pizza was like, well, that's what I really wanted. And you go, you know what, that's fine. And, and even something so simplistic is the base of leading up to people pleasing and stopping, admitting what we want. And yes, there's compromise sometimes we're not always going to get what we want. But that, and that's a very small.
[00:06:16] Speaker B: There's a difference between compromising and people pleasing.
[00:06:21] Speaker A: Yes, absolutely. And for a long time I personally didn't even know the difference.
[00:06:26] Speaker B: Yeah. And that people pleasing is surrendering.
[00:06:30] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:06:30] Speaker B: Majority of, of your free will.
That's essentially what it is.
[00:06:36] Speaker A: Right?
[00:06:37] Speaker B: Excuse me. And it just, it becomes overwhelming. And then because you've gotten the so called outcome that you were looking for, well, maybe if I do a little bit more. Maybe if I do a little bit more here. And then before you know it. Yeah, where are you? It's like, right?
[00:06:56] Speaker A: And you're like, wait a minute, this is, this isn't what I wanted. You're like, I don't even like half the things that I'm doing, but I'm doing them because somebody else is happy. But, but if we don't seek joy within ourselves, we will never get the byproduct of happiness. And that's reality. And so going through all of these things, can you share a time when you felt that you have gone through this, this, this, these moments and, and had a moment of clarity afterwards?
[00:07:29] Speaker B: It was more in my early 30s. All of my 30s really is where I was feeling the shift of, oh my gosh, what am I doing with my life? I'm raising kids, working a 9 to 5 job, but it's not rewarding for me. And then it becomes now sacrificing myself at this job because I want different positions that I'm being put, promised, but when I hit the target, oh, it's not good enough. You know, they finagged on all of that. So it was like I was spinning my wheels, you know. And then just before COVID you know, I started to see it change even more and it was just getting heavier. And then the aha moment for me was when I literally saw the signs that were saying, you know, you're gonna have to let go of what was once known and the comfort of it and oh my God, it was like excitement, but at the same time, what does this mean? I can't even see it in front of me. I can't. I just can't. And that's when I started to go inward with what are these other new skill sets of mine? What do they look like? Are they good enough to do this next phase of my life that I'm not even guaranteed anything, you know. But the more I kept on diving into the unknown, it became known it was where my passion was, which was the illustrations for books and, and also the imageries for, for my canvases and the commissions and then with my reiki practices. That is really what I believe made me get closer and closer to my spirituality in conjunction with my writing and my books worthiness and the beauty of Nair and which as I've told you I'm working on the Kingdom within, and that's my third. And it's like doing what you love, and the passion for it is what is the fuel for your confidence and the courage that it just becomes a ripple of moving forward like a bolt of lightning that is just moving you so forward so quickly after a period of time where you have really gone inward to digest and. And just say, I've had enough of the old, and I really can't apply the old ways to the new. And you come to a place that you're gonna let it go. You finally hit a wall, and. And it just.
It just becomes a relief. And it did. It became a relief for me when I switched gears mentally and emotionally with. I'm aligned. I'm an artist of many canvases, and that is. Those are my superpower gifts that nobody can take. And what I love about the self is the self. I started to learn that I'm sculpturing the self, the character, the values, you know, within me. And by sculpturing, no one can take away my scars. No one can take away my battles. I earned the end result of that. And that is what makes me walk the path, is the scars, is that I had to go walk that path to really feel the brewing of it all and the heat of it all and the intensity of still having to make those choices, even though my emotions were so not grounded. But having to harness that grounding and surrendering, surrendering and letting go, a lot of it was very difficult for me because that's all I ever knew, was to control every little bit of what I needed in order to feel alive.
And it wasn't even my narrative in the past.
[00:12:23] Speaker A: And, you know, it's amazing when we talk about control and control over a narrative, the. The true power of control is letting go. Because when we let go and are able to kind of let the ship drive itself and not fight, right? Everything that we have to fight for, and not saying that we're not supposed to fight for certain things, but if something is difficult and it's posing a problem for us over and over and over, that's the universe saying, no, this isn't what you're supposed to do. And the more we just sit back and start to. To let it start to steer on its own, I find that the path is a little bit clear.
[00:13:06] Speaker B: Right? Exactly. Because that. That's exactly it. And surrendering in the action of surrendering gives you the clarity. It's. And people get it confused and I did myself. I thought if I surrender, that means I'm giving up. And it's not. It's just letting go and trusting that what you've done moving forward in December, decision and action, that it will come back and it will come back even better. And that's what I've noticed.
[00:13:40] Speaker A: And I think that trust, yeah, they're getting better. And that trust is trusting ourselves. And when we come back, we're going to talk a little bit more about that process of trusting ourselves and, and really getting to the place that you are today. Because it's beautiful. It's beautiful. Like you said, it's ugly and it's beautiful. But finding that trust yourself and really allowing yourself to surrender to something of the unknown really puts us in a completely different place in our lives. So when we come back, we're going to talk a little bit more about that. Stay tuned.
Welcome back to the wow Within. I'm Jen Potter and I'm your host. Today we are joined with Susan Drayton, and we have been talking about finding the, the beauty within, the pain of finding ourselves. And with our last segment, we were talking about trust. And Susan, thank you so much for being back on the show and, you know, sharing some of your vulnerabilities about your life and your journey and where you're at. And when we were talking on the break, we ended with trust and finding the trust within ourselves. How do we find that trust within ourselves? And I said, you know, for me, I've been through a lot of really painful things. My journey has been very difficult, but at the same time, I've always tried to find the beauty. And finding the beauty for me is knowing that every morning I wake up, I have another opportunity. And I know, right, as morbid as this sounds, we're all going to die. And sometimes when people hear that, they're like, what? Yes. We never know when our, our meter is up. Right? Like, we, we put, we put money in it, but that doesn't mean that it's, it's going to run out whenever the universe decides to take us. And so we have to live our lives to the fullest every single day. People live these mundane lives. They, they're miserable, they're not happy until we start looking within and finding ourselves.
It takes time. Some people find it earlier in life, some people find it later. But when I mentioned that, you know, we're all going to die, you said something very profound. How do you view that, that thought.
[00:16:06] Speaker B: Process, how I viewed it and had to take action accordingly was I was the snake. I had to shed that skin. But in order for me to shed that skin skin I had to work on my mental state to break the old cycles of false narrative beliefs that was projected onto me as it was also my own accord of believing the falseness of I should be the follower instead of the leader of my life.
So I knew in order for that to happen, I had to re think things over. I had to really take the action steps to sit down with myself and really get to know the real me. And just my thought was just as a snake sheds, I. I want to die before the real death takes place where I no longer can see do anything anymore.
In order for that to happen, I had to be obedient with myself. I had to hold myself accountable for my actions, my words. Did I invest in me? How did I invest? Was it quality versus quality? Quantity?
Diving in more with my spirituality, my scriptures and my spiritual practices and what was the priority now in my life? Yes, still being a mom at this point, I'm divorced, but my responsible obligations as an adult were always there, but slowly shifting that I had to Am I going to go out tonight and just hang out with a bunch of people or am I going to do something that is going to be rock solid for me and showing up on my authentic self? So there were a lot of things that I had to reconfigurate and not only reconfigurate, but like what was more tangible in those moments that I could control and then had to learn how to surrender and believe and have the faith in me that the action steps that I took that was something so totally different helped me. So a lot of, a lot of literature that I had to read more on the self and how to literally set the foundation in what these steps are going to look now. I didn't run, I walked. But I've been walking a very steady pace and I've been walking this for a while now since 2014 and I am slowly seeing the results.
But for some people that don't know me, it's a wow factor for them because they weren't there in the beginning. They're getting a total different version of me that will come across however they perceive it to be.
But every day is not a struggle, but every day is a priority. I'm the priority. And making myself.
It's not even just about feelings, but accountability.
In order for me to stay that obedient person to me and owning the authentic path that truly aligns with me and knowing that majority of this journey is going to feel very lonely. But not lonely where you're invisible anymore. You're actually wanting to be in your peace and navigate your alignment in peace. Where now you become this elegant magnet and you're just attracting and it's just coming to you and you put it out there and this piece, it's not hollow, it's not empty, it's exotic, it is tranquil, it is full, it is vibrant. It is just a love that I've never given myself before.
[00:21:15] Speaker A: Well, yeah, but like, but that you're describing this, I'm like, I'm there when, when you, when you find that love that you're able to give to yourself first, the way that you show up for other people is different. The love that you give others is different because the love that you possess not just inside yourself, but for yourself, which is all of everything you said. I'm like, yes, yes, yes. I love being with myself. I love spending time with myself, I love traveling with myself. I love having conversations with myself and I love going, you know, I like that. I don't like that. I like how this tastes. I don't like how this tastes. Like I can and I show up for myself that way and then I'm able to show up that way to other people. And like you said, it's very different for people who see you on different parts of your journey. People have known me as the people pleaser and they're like, wait a minute, you're not people pleasing, you're taking care of yourself. Oh, that's attractive. And you know, and people, you know, they, they respond differently to you and they don't know how and, and we stop giving our power to other people. You know that people pleasing when, when that disappointment or you know, someone's upset and I'm like, I respond so differently to people that now that they don't know how to react to me because I'm not giving them my energy. And by not expending negative energy, I'm also not receiving negative energy. So like you said, you're a magnet for what you put out. When you put out positive energy and self love and all of those things, it comes right back at you. And I think that that's absolutely beautiful. And so one thing, you know, what is one thing someone watching can do today to, to begin to, to start this journey? They can, they need their, their, their lost. They're, they're trying to find themselves. They're people pleasing. They're exhausted. They just, they're done and they want to Start healing how? What's something that they can do to start to heal? Because it's easy going through it. And I'm like, yes, I'm here. But like you said, it's ugly, it's painful. You don't know what's on the other side. You know, there's nothing attractive about going through this journey, but what can we do to tell some of our listeners? Like, there. There's so much beauty once you start to get through it. How can you. How can you guide them?
[00:23:49] Speaker B: For me, what helped me was to get out of my comfort zone, and I didn't have to go very far to do that. I did the stuff that I normally wouldn't do. I.
I now go for regular hikes. I love being out in nature. There's people that don't enjoy nature, but when I went into nature, it taught me to listen, Just listen. And the world was talking to me differently, and I was appreciating life in different forms, different views, and I started it that way for me. I started the journaling, and I also.
Yeah, I also decided to walk into places that I normally wouldn't walk to go get a fabulous cup of coffee or a cup of tea. And I made sure to connect with people and be curious about other people's journeys because they have a wealth of knowledge.
It's not. It's not, you know, oh, my God, I. I want to befriend that person because that person is driving, I don't know, a Bugatti. You know, it's. It's not. It's.
[00:25:13] Speaker A: It.
[00:25:13] Speaker B: They have knowledge, and their words and their actions can spark something in you that you're like, okay, I get it. Let me connect this with what I've been feeling. And doing that was the last piece of the puzzle, you know, and just staying that course of doing something different each and every day that you normally wouldn't do that.
Curiosity. It's the curiosity and the wonder, right?
[00:25:47] Speaker A: And. And by having that, you then can decide, you know what? Walking into the coffee shops, I did it a bunch of times because I want to try. You know what? Actually, I don't like doing it. And I mean, anyone who knows me knows that that wouldn't be true for me. But, you know, or you go in, and I really loved doing that. I want to do this at least once a week. Wow. I really am so happy. I started a conversation with the person because now I have a new friend or a new connection or a new business, a new business opportunity. And. And you can decide Whether or not that feels comfortable. And if you step out of your comfort zone and are like, nope, it's not for me, then you say, okay, do something else. But I tell everybody I will try anything once within reason, and it can't hurt anybody. And that is food. It's experiences. It's, you know, never putting myself in harm's way. But I can't tell you whether or not I dislike something if I've never tried it, Right. And. And so I try to do that.
[00:26:46] Speaker B: But the one thing like what I say to my Reiki clients, I'll say to them because they're always like, oh, my gosh, I want to go meet someone, somebody, blah, blah, blah. I said, why don't you do this? Why don't you take yourself out on a date?
[00:27:01] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:27:02] Speaker B: Go to the places. Go to the places where they're having high tea. Get all dolled up.
But when you get there, I want you to pay attention to how you walk into that room.
What does your energy say to people without words?
Look at it. Observe how people react at you. Waitresses, the. The, you know, men, women, just everything. And then I want you to pay attention to those emotions, and I want you to own it.
And when you do, that is a fabulous beginning, because that's where the courage is starting to fuel, and that's where the confidence will be born from.
[00:27:58] Speaker A: And then I really like that.
[00:27:59] Speaker B: Yeah, you'll be the powerhouse. And that's why I always tell people, get out of your comfort zone. Just get out. I don't, you know, and. And when you do, you know, obviously we want safety. That's a given.
But do something. Instead of waiting for somebody to do it for you, do it yourself. We always go back to the self sculpture. The self, you know, to the way you want it. And this is how you're going to interact in. In. And your energies interweave with one another. And this is how you then stop forming healthier relationships with fabulous boundaries.
[00:28:48] Speaker A: Oh, boundaries are amazing. And. And that's it, right? Because if. If you're interacting with yourself and you're creating these things that make you feel good, you no longer allow people to take advantage of those other things. Because. Because when you don't feel good, it's amplified. So it's. It. It. It wasn't so min. Before. It was minuscule. But now when you feel good and you don't like something, you're like, oh, I absolutely, absolutely do not like that. And talk about this all day.
I am so excited that you were on the show today. So thank you so much. If you want to tell everybody how they can get a hold of you and all of the other things that you're working on and obviously you're going to be back on the show soon, but I, you know, just tell them all the things.
[00:29:31] Speaker B: Working on my painting commissions. I'm also still writing my third book. Book that will come out when it's meant to come out. But you can follow me on Instagram. Dragon and Fairies 555.
Also Susan Drayton, 7 on Facebook. Also have a website, Enchanted Wings LLC.com that you can get copies of the children's books that I have. There's a direct link to mascot books and yeah, just doing me.
[00:30:17] Speaker A: That's awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here today. It's a pleasure, as always. Absolutely. Until next time, I'm Jen, the host of the wow within, and we'll see you soon.
Welcome back. I'm Jen Potter, the host of the wow Within. I have been joined by Susan Drayton. And we have talked about finding beauty and healing through being broken. And Susan shared some beautiful stories and her own healing journey. And through that, I felt inspired to talk a little bit about things that I have personally gone through and how I've gotten to where I am today. And for, for me personally, when, you know, when we were talking, we were discussing about, you know, when, when you hit this, this, this moment of being broken, going through it is never pretty, but getting to the other side is. It can be a very beautiful thing, but going through it is really difficult. And, and that's hard for a lot of people. Right? You know, when we hit rock bottom or what we think is rock bottom, you know, it's this, will I ever get through it? Will things ever get better? And, you know, a lot of it has to do with mindset. And I think when, when we hit this point, it's trying to find the small things that truly make us feel as though we can find ourselves. And, and it's hard. And it's a hard journey for us to go through. And, you know, myself included, throughout, you know, the decades that I've been alive, now that I'm in my early 40s, I have gone through the ups and downs just like anybody else has. And, you know, some of us have big T traumas, some of us has have little T traumas, but trauma, nevertheless is trauma and how we perceive it and how it affects our lives. And so no matter what you have personally gone through, it's your own journey. And so what rock bottom is for you is going to be completely different than what it is for me. But it's so important to really recognize where we're at and learning how to get through it. And so for me personally, I've, you know, I've shared my story other times on the show, whether it's talking about my heart condition or my childhood. And throughout the course of my life, I have been hit with some serious trauma. And I've recently reflected on it, and I started asking my why have I personally been through so much trauma? And, you know, it's a question that can't be answered, but it's a question that I have often thought about. And, you know, I'm not playing the woe is me card. I'm not saying, oh, this happened to me, so therefore, you know, feel bad. But really reflecting, what are these things that I have personally gone through that have made me the person that I am today? And, you know, whether it's the childhood stuff that I've gone through or whether it's something, you know, more relevant, like my heart condition, because that's more. It's more recent. I. I want to try taking everything that I've gone through and make it more of a positive experience for myself as well as other people who may be going through something very similar. And I know personally that the type of person that I am and the type of energy that I possess, you know, a lot of things that kind of hit me, I try to make it into something positive so other people going through their own journey can have more positivity in their life so they can know that they're not alone, that they're not the only person that has gone through this and that they have someone to. To walk along the side of them. And I can't, you know, I can't fix their journey, but I can reassure them that they're not alone. And, you know, for me, one of the bigger traumas that, you know, for me when I was broken is, you know, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was. I just hit 30. She was, you know, I was pregnant, seven months pregnant, and I randomly got diagnosed with a heart condition. And that was probably one of the scariest moments in my life, you know, not quite knowing, am I going to lose my daughter? You know, ending up in the ICU and uncertain as to what was going on, going from being completely healthy and a beautiful pregnancy to being in this place of am I going to live? And that. That was very, very scary for me. And that really it broke me. It broke me mentally, physically. I was pregnant, and I went from, you know, this happy, healthy pregnancy to being scared every day. And also, I gained a lot of weight because I was on a lot of steroids. So we were very scared as to how that was going to aff child because we had no idea with the amount of medication that I was taking, pain medication as well as steroids. So, you know, even though the doctors assured us that everything was going to be okay, like, you still have that what's going to happen? Type of feeling. And for me, it was so much of okay. I went from being this athlete and being healthy to being told, like, okay, we're not sure, you know, if you're going to be able to resume normal activities. And the year before, I ran the Boston Marathon. And so I went from, from being this athlete to, hey, you may not be able to run again. And, and that broke me because even though I wasn't, like, a fast athlete and, you know, I'm not an overly competitive athlete, I was always, I was always the type of person that was like, you know what? I'm gonna get up and do this. I'm gonna go run a half marathon. I'm gonna train for a marathon. I'm gonna, you know, I played a lot of different sports, and I, I, I enjoy exercise, you know, going to the gym, running on the treadmill. I have a lot of energy to begin with, so I really needed something to, like, get me out of, you know, my own craziness. And, and working out has always been that for me. And when you're told, hey, your outlet is no longer your outlet, you're like, oh, shoot, what am I going to do? And it was, it was hard. It was hard Sitting with a cardiologist at the age of 30 going, you know what? You're probably never going to run again. And that, that put me in a severe depression. I was a new mom. I probably had postpartum, and I didn't actually accept it. And, you know, trying to understand where I am in my journey. And, you know, I spent the first few, two years of being a mom kind of in the woe is me feeling like I, I'm a new mom. I'm trying to figure it all out. It's okay if I'm not working out as much. But then once I got pregnant with my son, I had this urge to, to want to, to work out more, to go back to doing the things that I was doing. And I got, you know, hit with a few other medical Problems kind of going through that. So it was like, okay, it was one thing after another. But after I had him and I started going through all of these additional medical problems, I really started questioning who. Who's actually stopping me from doing all of these things? Who is. I know the doctor's saying, hey, you know, it's probably not a good idea, or, you know, but are they an expert in my body and are they. Are they living the life that I'm living? And so I had to find ways to, to kind of change what it was that I was doing. So I was broken and I was sad and I was dep. I didn't want to admit any of it, but I needed to find an outlet. So I actually started doing yoga pretty regularly. And I started noticing that yoga was giving me the same type of feeling that I was getting from running. And it wasn't exactly the same because anybody who does yoga knows that it's a very different feeling. But, you know, when you're doing yoga that's kind of a little bit fast paced. It might be heated. You're allowing your body to still exercise and kind of move. And so for me personally, like, I started doing yoga more. And as I started doing yoga more, I started getting stronger. I started saying, you know what? I can't run, but what if I did like a mud run or what if I did a spartan race? And it turned into dozens of races? I was, I'm able to go at my own pace. I don't have to go fast. It's, you know, you run a little bit, walk a little bit, do an obstacle. And I started getting that confidence back that I was lacking for so long. And even though I wasn't running a race, I realized that I was able to find something that, I mean, it was a race, but it wasn't like a, a running race. And, but I was able to find myself again. And, you know, when the doctors told me I wasn't going to be able to run anymore, I. I had this feeling like, oh, my God, my world is over, my life is over. I'm 30 years old. What am I going to do? And, you know, it took a little bit of time. It took kind of digging a little bit deeper, finding something that allowed me to. To get my body back into a place that it needed to be, to be a little bit more active. But, you know, finding. Finding races and finding something that allowed my body to. To exercise and open up. And over the course of the last decade, I have, like I said, I run lots and lots of races. Ironically, right behind me is a lot of my headbands from some of the races. And I look around in the room that I'm in, realizing all of the, all of the victories that I personally had in the past decade since being told that I couldn't run anymore. And when somebody tells you that you can't do something, we have to make that decision for ourselves. They're telling me, I can't do this.
Am I listening to my, my body? Am I listening to what my body is telling me that I'm actually physically able to do? I'm not putting myself in harm's way. You know, that's something that's always been very important to me. I'm never going to put myself in danger. But if I can do something is going to allow me to have, you know, better mental health and do it at my own pace. I'm going to do that. And a few years ago, I actually decided that I wanted to run a marathon again for Boston Children's Hospital. And I sat with my cardiologist and I got a new cardiologist up in Boston. And I was, I was told, you know, my cardiologist here and up there were fantastic. And they are very, very supportive. And they're like, you know, if, if, if you're going to run, we can't stop you. You know, just know that there are, there, there could be some things that could happen if you do run, but you have to pay attention to it and you have to just listen to your body. And so I spent the better half of a year training my body to run a marathon. And it was brutal. As you get older, your body is very different than it is in there in your 20s and 30s. And. But I gave myself this opportunity to, to run a race, and I completed another marathon. My time was absolutely terrible. I couldn't even tell you what the time was, but I really don't care because I wasn't doing it for a time. I was doing it to prove to myself that I can do something because my body is allowing me to do it, not because a doctor says, hey, you probably can't do that. Do I still have a heart condition? Absolutely. Have I had a heart attack? Absolutely. But I woke up this morning on the side of the dirt and, you know, something so beautiful came out of that. My confidence, my self confidence, esteem, my, my ability to be able to show my kids that I can be anything and I can do anything just as long as I'm being safe. And, you know, even though I went through something so terrible. It. It made something a lot more beautiful. And there are other people who have been inspired by that. So I think, you know, it can be a really tough process. But, you know, finding. Finding things that you can, you know, do in that are a little bit different might be a little bit better for us. And, you know, sometimes we don't quite understand why we're going through it until we actually get to the other side. So when we come back, we're going to talk about, you know, some things that you can do to, to make yourself a little bit better, to kind of change some things in your daily schedule. And yeah, we'll talk a little bit more when we come back. Stay tuned.
Welcome back. I'm Jen, the host of the wow within. And we have talked about in the last several segments about going through something painful to get to something beautiful. And while going through something painful isn't always the prettiest, sometimes the process is what teaches us the lessons to be where we are today. And, you know, one of the things that I personally talked about was my heart condition, which I, for a long time let it control my life. And I didn't allow myself to listen to my inner voices and trust my natural instincts. Instead, I listened to what other people told me that I had to do in order to survive. And it wasn't until I started to listen to myself that I realized that there were other things that I could do to actually live the life that I wanted to live. But I just had to kind of change the way that I was doing it. And, you know, I was still able to do the things that I really wanted to do. And thought that story was something that I truly felt broke me. It broke me into a million pieces. It, you know, all of these awful things that have happened in my life, being told I wasn't able to run actually broke me. And it took me several years to pick up all the pieces and figure out what it was that I could do to make myself feel better and be in a better place. And it was through all of these different things that it. It started to tell my story. I was able to do things that I wouldn't have typically done if I didn't go through all of that right. You know, as a new mom, you know, in a short time frame, I had two young children. Now I have three. But, you know, right at the beginning, when I was kind of going through it all, you know, changing my exercise habits, becoming a mom of one, then becoming a mom of two through that One of the things that I didn't really talk about was our second child was the easiest baby. And that posed a red flag for me right out the gate as a mom. And, you know, very early on, I realized that, you know, he had some different. Different challenges, different abilities, and his road was going to be a little bit harder. And it was through his journey that I started to find my strength. And, you know, having my daughter, you know, she's absolutely incredible, but she was, you know, she was more of the easy kid. And, you know, my second son posed a lot of physical challenges as. As well as, you know, some, you know, delays. And so really started to change my mindset about, you know, how to approach things, and I was able to do that. And through everything that I went through and.
And I sit here and I think about hindsight and I think about, you know, where I was and where I am and the impact that it has made on my life and the choices that I made in order to be where I am today. And I am really happy with all of the things that I had to go through to get to where I am today. Did I enjoy it while I was going through it? Not always, but I always try to find something positive every single day. We go through things, and we choose how we're going to show up every day, and, you know, we want to start making changes in our lives. You may be listening today and saying, you know, my life is really difficult. You don't understand my journey. I will never understand your journey. We will never understand somebody else's journey unless we are going through that journey ourselves. And even then, it's going to be different because you will actually never know what the other person is thinking. I will never know what's in your brain. I will never know how you're going to respond to things, how. How you're going to feel. But I can show up as me and I can tell you the things that I have personally done and things that I would suggest doing in order to start to change that mindset a little bit. And first, it's showing up, right? This morning, I woke up on this side of the dirt. Every morning that I wake up, I'm like, hey, I'm here. I have an opportunity to have a really great day or have a really crappy. And, you know, somebody told me along a long time ago, somewhere along the journey, as I was going through all these things, you know, I took on life coaches. I took on therapists, you know, anybody that could mentor me coaches. I always try to Find, you know, something to. To grow and something to learn. And at one point, I had a therapist. Not a therapist. I had a life coach. And she was fantastic. This woman made such an impact on my life. And. And I know she knows that, you know, her name is Lauren. She, you know, I met her through a networking group, and I would listen to her talk, and I would talk, and she'd talk about, you know, how she would help people. And I was skeptic, I'm not gonna lie. And she would sit here, and she'd be like, you do these two things, and, you know, we have a conversation, and, you know, you start to change your mindset, and I'm like, there's no way that this is gonna work. And. But then I said, what if it does work? Right? I started to change that thought process in my head of, what if. What if this worked? And not saying that everybody needs to go get a life coach. You can listen to podcasts. You can listen, you know, to myself. You can listen to, you know, advice that friends have to give. First rule of advice, don't listen to anyone else's advice unless you are willing to take some information from it. Right? You know, someone's going to give advice, and you can be like, I don't like how that feels. Oh, I really like how that feels. Listen to yourself. Listen to what your reaction is to those. Those things that people are saying to you, and if it feels really good, lean in. If it doesn't feel good, really lean away from it and just start to listen to yourself as you're kind of going through those things. But when I met with Lauren, one of the things that I did a lot was I apologized for everything. I don't even know why I apologized, but, you know, I feel like society teaches us how to, you know, something. Oh, you bump into someone, oh, I'm sorry. You, you know, show up at, you know, the wrong time, and, oh, I'm so sorry. Should you apologize if you're, you know, intentionally late to something or, you know, you're inconveniencing somebody or, you know, being malicious? Absolutely. You should absolutely apologize. But we apologize for so many things. And the first thing that she taught me was to stop apologizing for everything because it's. It's putting it a negative connotation on things. And that says, stuck with me for so long, I'd say at least a decade. And I'm the one that tells everybody, why are you apologizing to me? Why. Why are you telling me you're Sorry. And. And I ask people that question, like, why are you apologizing to me? And if you have a legitimate answer, like, response, like, especially if it's, you know, in a. In a place that I don't feel like an apology is deemed necessary, I hope that I can change some thought process as we're kind of going along, but I feel that that that's relevant into the next part of what it is that I want to. I want to discuss. But it's how we can make small changes in our lives today in order for the, you know, the bigger changes to happen as we go through it. Right. We talked about several times when we. When we hit rock bottom. Getting through to that pretty side sometimes takes a really long time. Sometimes it takes days, weeks, months, years. And then when you turn around in hindsight and go, wow, I went through all of that to be where I am today. And I am so unbelievably happy with the choices that I made to get to where I am today. For. For one, joy. Like, I did not understand the actual concept of joy till I was in my 40s. More, more recently, we'll give myself, like, the last past six months. The last past six months, I'm like, oh, my goodness. This is what joy is. Joy. Joy is finding something that makes me truly happy. I. I kid around. I Marie Kondo the crap out of everything. I like to put the S word in there, but, you know, it'll be appropriate. But I literally Marie Kondo everything that I do, and I think it's really important to say, if this does not bring me joy, why do I have it? If it's a cup, if it's a pair of sunglasses, if it's, you know, a T shirt that I don't like, how it makes me feel, why am I holding on to it? Oh, I might like it someday. You know, I don't like it today, and I'm gonna put it in a pile, and if I don't like it in a week, I'm gonna take it and I'm gonna donate it. And when we eliminate the things that don't make us happy, but everything else that we have in our and around us makes us happy, we're going to. To pro. We're going to show up happier, right? So I'm going to challenge you that if something doesn't make you feel good, slowly start to think of how you can eliminate it or reduce that in our lives. And, and for me, I started with clothes, and then it started with, you know, accessories and People and situations like, and. And. And build upon it, you know, nice and slowly. And now I'm always surrounded by things that make me happy. Shirts that I like, you know, necklaces that I wear, jewelry, friends, meetings, business. Everything that I do, unless it. If it does not bring me joy, I don't want to show up in it. And so I'm going to challenge you. I'm going to challenge you to really think that if there is something that you are doing and you don't like it, sit with it. I don't really like how this person makes me feel. Well, tell them how. How you feel around them or don't hang out with them as much.
A business decision. I don't like. I don't like what I'm doing. I don't like my job. Okay, well, nobody's keeping you there. Look for another job. Look for a different opportunity within that business if it's not your own. If you own your own business and you don't like it, well, change your. Change it. Pivot, move, like, switch it up, and everyone goes, wow, you think it's really that easy? Yep, it is absolutely that easy. I own several businesses, and I recently said, you know, one of these doesn't make me happy. I'm either gonna give it away, I'm gonna sell it, or I'm just gonna get rid of it. And then I have another business that is similar to a third business that I have. And I was like, you know what? I think I'm gonna combine them. I don't know how that makes me feel. You know, I like how it makes me feel. It's one less thing I have to worry about. So, you know, I'm gonna combine these businesses. And everyone's like, you make it seem so easy, because it is. We choose how difficult our life is. If you want to make it simple, make it simple. Eliminate the things that stress us, stress us out. You have too many business meetings. Reduce them. You don't like your clients, you don't have to accept them as clients. You choose what you accept into your life. And the sooner you realize that you are in control and you make those decisions, the easier your life is going to be. So all of the things that I do throughout the course of my day have led me to where I am today, including this TV show. Show. I love showing up. I love being here. And because I love it so much, I'm able to feel connected and empowered by it. And so today I'm going to ask you, reassess, take a minute and Ask yourself, I like how this makes me feel. I don't like how this makes me feel. It could be as simple as a cup of coffee. I like my cup of coffee. I like how it tastes. I want to continue to drink that. Or why am I drinking coffee every morning? I don't even like coffee. I'm not going to say that. But, you know, start to add or eliminate things in our lives that either make us feel good or don't make us feel good, and you're going to start to see a change in how you show up and how things are going to change. And things aren't going to change overnight, especially when it comes to business relationships and friendships. You're going to have some pretty angry friends and your people pleasing might try to keep you where you are, but you're never going to get to the other side of pure joy and happiness if you continue to please other people. And we talked about that with Susan. So, you know, there, there's a lot here. There's, you know, a lot that we've talked about, both Susan and myself. And I want you to just, you know, maybe you might have to listen to this again and maybe you might just have to sit down and say, you know what? I'm going to start doing things for me, whether it's journaling, whether it's, you know, listening to podcasts, whatever that may be, starting, start showing up for yourself and start listening to yourself a little bit more frequently. And the more you start to listen to yourself and the things that make us happy and bring you pure joy, you'll start to realize how much your life is going to change. Because when we talk about that day of today is going to be a good day. Today is a good day because I choose to make it a good day. And me, you might have several moments that are like, oh, my goodness, you know, my morning this morning, like my son has to go to the doctor. I'm like, great. It's going to delay one thing that I'm doing, but that doesn't make my day bad. That just makes the moment a little crappy. But my day can still be really good. So I'm going to challenge you with that. I hope you have a wonderful day. And thank you so much for joining us today. Till next time, this has been a NOW Media Network's feature presentation. All rights reserved.
