Episode Transcript
[00:00:21] Speaker A: Welcome to the wow within. I am Jen Potter and I am joined today by, by Vera Ventura. She is an amazing human being. She is a four time cancer survivor and she has done it so gracefully and she has shared her story with the entire world as she has gone through all of her treatments and all of her processes. I am so excited to have her on today. Thank you so much for being here today, Vera.
[00:00:46] Speaker B: Thanks for having me.
[00:00:48] Speaker A: Absolutely. And we go way back. We've, you know, back into the booty yoga days. We got our yoga certifications together and way before, you know, when our kids were younger and you know, doing all the things and back then you were a powerhouse and you, I remember learning about your story up until that moment and I know you have an amazing story to tell. But over the last 10 years you, your story has changed a lot and you have gone through a lot. You have been become the breast cancer goddess as well as the cancer goddess and your mission is to help other people go through these processes. So if you want to tell everybody a little bit about who you are and what you're doing and I'll just jump right in.
[00:01:33] Speaker B: Well, thank you Jen, for, for inviting me. I'm so grateful for you and for Buddhi yoga.
Yeah. So I mean just to make it quick because I can talk all day about my journey, but basically I, I left home at 14 to go live with my sister. And I started with bulimia and drugs and addictive behavior, like seriously addictive behavior as a result of just the dysfunction in my choices. And I hit a rock bottom at 24. And that's when I went into recovery for food addiction. I know it's not something that people think about, but I was from a very early age addicted to processed flour and sugar.
And then it turned into cigarettes, alcohol, relationships with men. It just kept going.
[00:02:32] Speaker A: It's just, you know, addiction is addiction and you know, when, when you have that addictive quality, we always replace it with something else.
[00:02:43] Speaker B: Right, right. It's filling the void, that God sized hole as we say.
And so the program changed my life. You know, it changed my Life. I was 24 and I became almost monastic and aesthetic. You know, my friends thought I joined a cult. And you know, I stopped drinking, I stopped doing all anything mood altering, including caffeine. So it was a pretty big spiritual journey as well. And I started going to meeting four meetings every day and I got a sponsor and talk started, you know, doing quiet time meditation every day.
And so the first five years I was just crawling out of my Skin because I was getting all these awarenesses about who I was and my disease and my addiction. And so it was, I wanted to run away actually. But every time I wanted to run away because that was my default to run away, people would just say, hey, wait for the miracles to happen. Wait for the miracles to happen. I'm like, when are these miracles going to happen? Because I got to go, you know, But I kept doing, you know, job that I hated, like, you know, just to pay the bills because that's, that's a big part of my life too, the financial insecurity and same not feeling enough, you know, financially. So I started a production company doing videography and photography and I, I, I sort of weaved my way into, to where I am now, which is really wonderful. But what I found because I was on this spiritual journey that I wanted to dive deeper. So that's when I did, started doing my yoga trainings. And that's, you know, that was my second training, my two, my second 200 hour, my first 200 hours was with another, you know, company and another yoga studio. And, and then I started doing mindfulness trainings and I just was so into all this, you know, MBSR mindfulness based drugs reduction at UMass Medical Center.
And I just made money and then invested it into learning.
So I would shoot all these weddings because weddings was very lucrative. And I mean I should, I would shoot anything. I, I, I, I, I just wrote in my memoir that I shot a funeral and I loved it. It was like so beautiful. It's like one of my most memorable experiences shooting a funeral. But I would shoot bar mitzvahs, bar mitzvahs, you know, reunions, it doesn't matter if you paid me, I was there to shoot. And I learned a lot. I just learned a lot about people and culture. It was like anthropology and, and partying all wrapped in one money bow. It was fantastic and I loved it. Until, and then I, I, I wanted to get a little more serious academically so I funded grad school at Harvard to do education technology. And at that time I also became a public school teacher. So I was a public school teacher teaching filmmaking and media for about seven years until I had my, my daughter Alma and my, and I went on maternity leave and then I didn't have any job security and I was, I was a little expensive because I had a master's and all this, you know, other time in the system and the school district that I was part of ended up hiring my sub and getting rid of me. So you know, they always say, like, look at your, your, look at your life three years before you get cancer.
So here I had, you know, left teaching. I got, got dismissed and I started, I started working for an essential oil company like an mln. And I don't know if he knows too much about MLNs, but you make money when other people are financially successful too. It's a beautiful model and it works for many, but I was terrible at it. I could not inspire people to do the business. I love the product and I was.
[00:06:40] Speaker A: Like, you did a great job. You did a really good job.
[00:06:42] Speaker B: Look at that. This is exciting. I don't know why that happened, but that's exciting. Yeah, no, I know, I know. I, I thank you. Thank you. But it's different. It's one thing to do sales, it's another thing to grow a com. Like a business.
[00:06:58] Speaker A: Absolutely. Absolutely.
[00:07:00] Speaker B: I couldn't, I, I wasn't, I just wasn't good at it. There's other people are so good at it, and I was, wasn't. So I was again, like teaching yoga and promoting this holistic lifestyle, talking about my bulimia and trying to do this essential oil thing, but I was like a cat chasing its tail. Like, it just the stress of, like having hitting goals every month was, is again, looking at the, the three years before you got cancer, what was I doing? You know, I got let go of the job and started a new job with high pressure with two little kids. You know, my daughter, yeah. Was, you know, only a year and Nasha was three. I mean, come on. I mean, it's just, you know, the pressure that I put on myself to be successful is, is intense, you know, is. It's really intense. And, and so, so then I, that was when in 2019, that I discovered I had bilateral breast cancer that was genetic. That's why my first memoir post is all about now trauma.
[00:08:04] Speaker A: Right. So let me ask you. So that was an accidental finding though, right? Were you going through, you're going through testing, right?
[00:08:12] Speaker B: I was breastfeeding my daughter.
[00:08:14] Speaker A: Ah, is that.
[00:08:15] Speaker B: It was. I kept finding like, I found a lump and I was like, oh, this is just like mastitis. Mastitis and whatever. Like, this is not a big deal. Like, I don't have cancer. Like, I'm way healthy. You know, I'm like stress ball because I'm always trying to catch up financially. And, and, and my mom was like, you should get that checked out. And another friend was like, you should get that checked out. And I was like, and until I got it Checked out. And then, you know the mammogram where they smush your booby into a chicken cutlet. Yeah. Not the best thing, but I did it. I did it because that's what we did. But there's other therapies that are less invasive.
So essentially that's when I discovered it was bilateral and it was a big red flag because I was under 40 and that's a red flag. And being under 40 is a red flag and bilateral is a red flag. And being healthy is a red flag. So they're like, usually go get genetic testing. That's right. And then I went to go get genetic testing and I, and I saw, you know, the form and ask, you know, African American, Caucasian, and it was an Ashkenazi Jew. And that's part of my heritage. I'm not fully Ashkenazi. I'm Sephardic and Ashkenazi, but I'd never checked a box. And that's where I learned about this genetic trauma that I just wrote about, about how it's been passed down and why I. This genetic trauma.
[00:09:42] Speaker A: But it's, it's amazing how, you know, it's through that process you found that out and you know, you're the reason why I went to get genetic testing. So I went and got the genetic testing. Because you did it. Because I have the same gene. But thankfully, thankfully it's not mutated and I came back clear. So I was actually very excited.
[00:10:01] Speaker B: And so you have the BRCA gene too?
[00:10:04] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:10:05] Speaker B: Oh, and for those at home who don't know what BRCA is. Breast cancer gene. BRCA gene. Yeah. Wow. I didn't know that.
[00:10:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:10:14] Speaker B: All right.
[00:10:16] Speaker A: It's really interesting. But. And the more, more people are more aware about it now, well, more testing is happening. But because you went and had that testing, this kind of started your process. Right. Of, of your journey.
[00:10:30] Speaker B: Right, right. And my, my, you know, my grandmother had died before I was born of breast cancer. My father had passed away of pancreatic cancer. So cancer was definitely in my, my lineage. And so I kind of just accepted it and I was like, okay, this is going to happen, but I am not going to let anything define me about what Western medicine says. And that the day after I wrote on my, on my chest, I said, breast cancer. I am not, you know, I am not my diagnosis, I am not my diagnosis. And it's like on my business car sale for the non profit and it just was emblematic of like, I'm going to take you through this. I'm going to do it with you and I'm going to teach you while I'm going through it. And that's when I started my path of being the breast cancer goddess.
And then in 2021, you know, I was getting through the breast cancer and I was like, I got this. And then I went to. It was Covid. And I went to Miami to go see my family. I'm from Miami. And.
And I started developing like just a lot of pain, like a lot of shooting pains. And I went to a chiropractor, I went to acupuncture and I. It would be mitigated for a little bit, but then it would just come back like randomly and.
And then I ended up like collapsing and being taken to the emergency room. And it turned out I had a brain tumor. So what happens when they open you up and they do all the things move around. I mean, cancer cells are like, woohoo, let's party. And then so when you do chemo, which I did, I did the chemo, it doesn't pass. The kind of chemo that I did initially for the breast cancer did not pass the blood brain barrier.
[00:12:12] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:12:13] Speaker B: So that means floating like rogue cells can go float up to your head and have a party. Because the brain is the, is the place that can produce the most amount of glucose in the absence of sugar. And keep in mind, I had eliminated, remember my aesthetic ways, I had eliminated processed sugar and flour when I was 24. So here I am, 40 years old with metastasized brain tumor the size of an organic strawberry. I say organic because, you know, genetic modified strawberries can be like this big.
So, so then I was rushed, you know, rushed back to, to thank God, back to Boston. I mean, this is where the best, the best of the best. The best of the best, best. And I was, you know, terrified because they put me on steroids.
[00:13:04] Speaker A: And it's crazy how it was, you know, is that one right after the other? And we're gonna take our first break and when we come back, we're gonna pick back up where we left off and more to come.
[00:13:16] Speaker B: Guys, don't be, don't, don't go anywhere.
[00:13:18] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:13:19] Speaker C: We'll be right back.
[00:13:30] Speaker B: Sakura.
[00:13:56] Speaker A: I'm Jen Potter, the host of the wow within. And I have been joined by Vera Ventura, who is a four time cancer survivor as well as the breast cancer goddess and the cancer goddess. And she has gone through an amazing life journey to get her to where she is today. And she is glowing and full of energy and I'm just so happy that you're here today, so thank you so much again for being here and telling a little bit about your story. So thank you, Vera.
[00:14:22] Speaker B: Thank you, Jen And I just want to introduce Ms. Whiskers, who decided to join our podcast.
[00:14:28] Speaker A: I love it very much.
[00:14:29] Speaker B: I'm happy that Ms. Whiskers is there.
[00:14:31] Speaker A: Before we left off, we were talking about how you had bilateral breast cancer. You found out you had the BRIC A gene. And the type of chemo treatment that you were going through actually didn't protect anything from your neck up. So you had a brain tumor and tell us a little bit about what that was like and then the next part of your journey, because it doesn't stop there.
[00:14:56] Speaker B: It was one of those things where you're faced with this tumor in your brain that could either come out or not come out or kill you or not. So in a way, I didn't want to. I didn't want to look at the fear. So even in the hospital, when I arrived there on the steroids, I was. Was still working, I was still editing. I was just immersing myself in.
In positivity of that. We got this. We got this. And, and other people were so fearful. And that's the thing about the cancer journey is that other people's energy can influence your.
Your perspective, when in actuality, if you're good, like you're good, you don't need any. Everybody's fear to creep into your world.
Then I met with the neurosurgeon, Dr. Ralph Vega, and he was just so. Had such great bedside manner and made me feel at ease. He said, it's going to be really hard, but we're gonna do it. It was a sit up surgery for seven hours where they set me up and then, you know, put my head in this thing and then. And so they, they cut the back open. They took out this, a part of the skull.
[00:16:10] Speaker A: No. Were you awake for it?
[00:16:11] Speaker B: No, no, I was. I was out. But they had me up, right?
[00:16:15] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:16:16] Speaker B: And they took out the. The T. Thank God. They took out this tumor, you know, and.
And then they sewed it back up. And unfortunately it wasn't healing properly. The csf, which is the cerebral spinal fluid, was oozing out of the scar. I mean, the initial scar looked like some Viking, you know, just got cut off.
[00:16:36] Speaker A: I remember, I remember it.
[00:16:37] Speaker B: Yeah. But it wasn't healing. And so then they installed a shunt. So I have a shunt going from right here all the way down to my belly. So that drains the fluid and that another miracle. Of western medicine that can do that. And so then that's when I really, really went forward with the breast cancer goddess. I started helping others because my recovery was so, so awesome, you know, And I was back to, like, doing yoga again. And, you know, after these major cancers, and I was like, okay, I got this. You know, I'm good. Like, I'm. I'm the cancer goddess. Like, woohoo. You know, look at me. And they would scan my head, you know, every three months. I mean, sorry, initially, every month, every two months. You know, they would just constantly do MRIs when you have cancer. They take it, like, uber seriously here. Right? And so MRI after mri, and again, like, why are they doing this? I'm the cancer goddess. The breast cancer goddess. I'm good, you know, And I started working with other breast cancer, you know, women who were going through. Through their own hell or their own. Their own journey. And that, for me, was enlightening. And I became a coach, you know, a breast cancer coach. And then. And then as I was going through this journey of MRI after MRI, it started to turn out in 2023 that there was activity in my brain. And this is something that no, like brain cancer, former brain tumor person wants to ever hear that there's activity, suspicious activity. And then that suspicious activity started getting worse to the point where my doctors were like, you need to take this really seriously because cancer is getting into your brain.
It wasn't just a localized tumor. It was literally in the folds of the brain. It's called leptomeningeal disease, the leptomeninges. So inside the folds of the brain, my radiation oncologist was like, you don't want to Google it. Because I did Google it after the fact. It was three to six months to live.
[00:18:50] Speaker A: Well, when someone says don't Google it, the first thing you're gonna do is go, okay, I'm gonna Google it.
[00:18:53] Speaker B: No, I didn't Google it until after I recovered. Really?
[00:18:57] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:18:58] Speaker B: She told me to Google it. I didn't Google it. I didn't want to know that is that, you know, that it psychologically impacts your recovery.
[00:19:07] Speaker A: Right?
[00:19:07] Speaker B: You know, this statistical outcome.
[00:19:10] Speaker A: Right.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: And that's. That's science. That's psychology. So I.
[00:19:13] Speaker A: That's amazing.
[00:19:14] Speaker B: I looked it up after I got recovered, and I was like, oh, wow. And so. Because most people don't survive that. So that's why all the doctors are like, vera. Like, you don't. Like. Even Dr. Vega, he's like, vera.
[00:19:27] Speaker C: Like, they were both.
[00:19:29] Speaker A: You did some unique things, though. Going through all of this.
[00:19:32] Speaker B: If I remember, I'll explain what I did. So then Western medicine didn't have. I was like, well, what do I do? And they didn't really have like a good solution because again, it was dire. It was a really dire situation. So I ended up calling a friend of mine who's actually a naturopathic doctor who I met in Miami, and she's Croatian. And I was in tears in front of my kids school. And I just was like, uncle, like, I don't know what to do. And she said, do this. She said, stop eating and start drinking green juice and magic will happen.
So I did. I stopped eating.
I started drinking green juice. You know, I told my sponsor I was going to do this to save my life. And she was like, signed off on it, you know, because I had been eating a certain way for, you know, at this point, 17 years, you know, no flour, no sugar, three meals a day, nothing in between. The avoidance of any binge food.
And so this was a big departure from my. From my routine that I had been. So it was just like drinking green juice. And green juice is because that really puts you into ketosis, apoptosis, autophagy, all those good things that a cancer patient wants, puts you right in it. So the first I say week or so was kind of hard, but how.
[00:20:56] Speaker A: Long did you do it for?
[00:20:58] Speaker B: I went. I did altogether 67 days.
[00:21:01] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:21:02] Speaker B: The second month, I did more seeds and broth and coconut oil because I was literally, I was. I was. I was fading away, I was getting so thin. So she integrated that too. But, you know, there's. People want to know a structure. You know, there was no. There's no recipes. I just juiced greens, you know, organic greens. And I would just drink when I was hungry. And I was on a spiritual journey. I was. It was one of the most powerful experiences in my life. I documented every day of it, every day of the journey. And I put it on my Instagram. I'll be sharing that. That in my memoir.
But it was a spiritual, profound experience. Experience where I felt connected to everything. Everything. Animals. You know, at one point there was a duck that was abandoned in the side of the road and with its little ducklings. And I pulled over and I stopped traffic. And I mean, these are the, you know, this is the energy that I was feeling, the feelings of, of being alive and really connected. And then it all kind of came to an end. I ended up going to. I don't recommend doing this, but I rec. I. I went to Dominican Republic to take my family for learning about Spanish and everything. And that's where I broke my fast. But the microbiome of Dominican Republic is completely different. And so I tried to juice there, but then I got really sick because of the different constitutions and the fruit and the food and. And so I just started having really bad reactions, and I couldn't get out of bed, and I was just. I was wasting away. I was so thin, and my body started to eat at itself because I was. Again, I was doing this. I mean, she had told me what to do, but she was somewhere else. I wasn't talking to her every day. I just hit this point where I was dying, essentially, I was dying. And.
And, you know, thank God I. I made it back to Boston and I went. I got admitted to the hospital. I was put on IVs, and. And eventually I was. I was put on hospice. And.
Yeah, and, you know, I was resentful of the. The naturopath. I was like, she killed me. She killed me. You know, it wasn't her, though. I just did, you know, I should have had more discipline. But, you know, the. That's why I love the. The blend sometimes between Western and Met and Eastern, because here I do this whole radical thing.
But then when I. When I came back, my oncologist was like, okay, let me try this for her. And they gave me, like, an experimental drug. And because my body was so primed for.
For healing, you know, I had wiped it clean. I just, like, took the blank slate. That's what fasting does. It just wipes you clean. I. I cleaned it all out. I scrubbed it, scrubbed it. My body was so receptive to the experimental drug, which I called my magic juice nr. 2.
And so little by slow, little slow, slow going, going, going, I started getting better. You know, I could sit up, I could get out of bed, you know, because I was rendered completely unable to move. I needed. I needed a nurse for the six. For six months to just be with my family, be at home, cook food, you know, and we had a GoFundMe. And people were so generous to help me get back to life, you know, because. Because of that experience, because she. She never charged me, by the way, this naturopath, she never charge me for her. For her. For her advice or her education.
Because of that and because of my miraculous recovery, I'm what you call a radical remission. You know, this is now four times that I've gone through this. I wanted to start a nonprofit to help women go through breast cancer like me. And that's why I started my nonprofit, Breast Cancer Goddess. And we had our first retreat where we set it back in the 90s based on the work of Doctor who's the first tenured professor of psychology at Harvard. That's female. And so I work with her at the mindfulness lab and I wanted to bring women back to the 90s before they had cancer, before they had Google. I also started a non profit where we have tons of educational classes and a wonderful community of learning and support. Then recently I started my own digital memoir and podcast under the Cancer Goddess. And that's going to help fund my nonprofit and continue to do the services that we're doing now.
That's the story. And I'm so grateful for this next journey ahead. I'm on Substack, which I'm excited about and being a P.
How do we look you up on Substack at Cancer Goddess. At the Cancer Goddess.
[00:26:18] Speaker A: Awesome. And. And what are the other. How else can we get a hold of you? So we got you on Substack, but any of the other social media platforms. Website.
[00:26:27] Speaker B: On Instagram, I'm at Breast Cancer Goddess and I'm also on my website, ww breast cancer goddess.org awesome.
[00:26:42] Speaker A: Well, thank you. And if you. And if you Google the Breast Cancer Goddess, Vera is amazing when it comes to social media and, and all of the different videos and all of those things, you literally Google it. And it's just your picture everywhere. And the pictures with the melons are by far my favorite pictures. But you, this is just a tidbit of your journey. And you know, like I said, I've been able to follow along and, and just watch from afar of all of the amazing things that you have gone through because this is just a small, a small portion of it. And you are changing people's lives. You are helping women. I'm watching what, what they're posting your retreat that you just did and you know, every day you're making a difference in someone else's lives. And, and I'm so grateful that we have friends that I have gotten to know you and that will continue to work together and do things together. So thank you so much for being here today and I look forward to having you on again soon.
[00:27:38] Speaker B: Thank you again for having me, Jen.
[00:27:40] Speaker A: Absolutely. Thank you.
[00:27:42] Speaker B: Awesome. Thank you.
[00:28:17] Speaker A: Welcome back. I am Jen Potter, host of the wow within, where we talk to authors and writers who have a story to tell. Because inside there is a wow story that we all have. Today I am joined by Sarah Elizabeth. She is an Executive director, author, and Reiki practitioner. And she's done a lot of different things in her life and along her journey. Today we're going to talk about ripping away external expectations and creating a safe space for others to do the same. Thank you so much for joining us today.
[00:28:46] Speaker C: Hi. Thank you for having me.
[00:28:48] Speaker A: Absolutely. And I'm going to ask right out the gate, because this is something that we talked about. I introduced you as Sarah Elizabeth, but that is not your full name. So why do you go by Sarah Elizabeth?
[00:28:58] Speaker C: So Elizabeth is my middle name. And when I started this journey of really going inward, I found that neither my married name, I'm now divorced, nor the name that I was born with really seemed to fit who I am inside and who I want to be as I go forward. So even going by Sarah Elizabeth is really just an example of trying to figure out who the most authentic version of me is and aligning my life with that.
[00:29:27] Speaker A: I really love that because we, you know, we hold on to those. The expectations of the last names, and they do define a little bit of us. And so it's. It's really awesome that you've taken that independence to be able to create that space for yourself. So thank you for sharing that. And you recently wrote a book, and we were just talking about it, and you sent me a copy, actually, not that long ago, and I dove right in. And you have a really amazing way of really capturing your story. I'm a very visual person, and I read the first 20 pages, like, right out the gate, and I sent you a message. I'm like, oh, my goodness, this story is so good. I just can't wait to finish reading it. And then, of course, I got sick, so it took me a little longer to read it. But you wrote when the White Picket fence is no longer Enough, and that came out in 2024. And if you want to tell us a little bit about your story and your journey and, you know, going through those external expectations, because a lot of our viewers are going through it or have gone through it. So it's definitely relatable to a lot of women in men.
[00:30:28] Speaker C: Yes. And I'm glad that you added that, because, you know, while that target audience does seem to be the women and mothers, I have had several men that have read it that have found themselves on a different path than what they had expected, and they found resonance with the stories that I've shared within. Within the book. So the secret is, most of this book started out really as my private journal entries. It was a way for Me to process the moment that I found myself sitting in a life where it looked beautiful to the outside world. And I had wonderful people in my life, and I felt completely alone on the inside. And I think that that may be the worst type of loneliness that you can have because it's almost unjustifiable to the outside world. So I watched my marriage fall apart. My son was diagnosed with autism, and I was trying to hold life together. And the only outlet that I found was in writing my story down. And what happened was, as I continued to write, I continued to see my story in a different perspective. And even through the chaos, I found these little glimmers of beautiful moments and moments that I found peace, and I started to build upon those.
[00:31:47] Speaker B: And.
[00:31:47] Speaker C: And so a lot of the. The stories that I share are from my heartfelt experiences with the goal of being the most vulnerable that I could be. To create a space that would be. That would allow others to be vulnerable as well.
[00:32:03] Speaker A: And it's really hard to. To allow that piece of you out into the world. Right, because we live in our heads for so long. When you're going through anything, you know, traumatic and life changing, and you create these internal dial and we. We don't always let them out, but then when you start creating that space, it. It allows other people to. To start to do it for themselves too. And, you know, I said when I started reading your book, I even started crying at one point because our stories are so different, but the trauma is real and we all go through a different trauma, which is, you know, the whole basis of the show. Everyone has a wow. Everyone has something that they have gone through, and this has been part of your journey. You've had this opportunity to be able story and allow people the safe space to be able to, you know, even feel their own. And. And I love that.
[00:32:57] Speaker C: Yes. Thank you. And, you know, I'll say that when I started writing this, there were only two people that knew I was writing this book. I had to keep it under wraps, mostly because I was so scared that if I told one person what I was doing, they would look at me like I was crazy and I would just stop. And it was really a healing part for me. So I had to get to the point in writing the book that no matter what people said, no matter how they judged my journey or what they thought of this new version of Sarah that they saw being released, I was at a place that I had found peace within myself and was comfortable and ready to share with the world. Some of my hardest moments and hope that that would allow others, you know, to feel like they weren't quite so lonely on their own journeys.
[00:33:46] Speaker A: And it's hard when you have the outside opinions telling you how they feel or what they, they, they don't know what it's like inside. Right. You're the only person that understands that. And I think one of the most powerful things that I learned along my journey was, you know, this is what I feel and my feelings are valid. And whether you agree with me or not, they're still valid. And it took me a long time to let those outside opinions stop me from doing the things that I was doing because we. I'm a people pleaser. So I would do everything in my power to, you know, to change the narrative to kind of mold for other people and not listen to the things that I really wanted to do. And it seems that as you started to, your story starts to unfold and you started talking about those things, talking about like you said, the new version, and the new version is Sarah listening to herself and Sarah dictating her narrative and not allowing other people to dictate it because it's so easy for us to be swayed by outside opinions. Right. And, and it's hard. As a recovering people pleaser, I'm still like, oh, I kind of, maybe I should do this instead of like, no focus, you know, so it's, it's really difficult. And because this talking about your journey and your story and the things that you're working on, that's not, it's not part of what you're doing every day. Right. Like your full time job, like this probably isn't part of your full time job. So it is a little bit different. And how has writing this book changed your outlook when it comes to changing a lot of yourself to be the person that you are today?
[00:35:23] Speaker C: Yeah. So I think, you know, and looking backwards just from the time we grow up, we are grown to find our value through external validation. And you know, you said you're a recovering people pleaser. I think there's many of us that have, have experienced that on our journey. And I took that role on very strongly in my professional life. I would say that I was very much of a type A person and I was a team player and there to protect whatever organization I was to the best of my ability. And writing this book was very scary. Not necessarily in the writing part, but in the actual releasing it and not knowing how that would impact the professional perception that others would have of me. But as soon as I released it and I shared it. And you know, when you share on LinkedIn, it's a little bit more of a professional site. There was some nerves related to that, but what I found was the people that worked with me saw me and respected me. New level. And I think that there is a balance that we can bring even into the business world where we, we bring in our hearts into that space and we bring in our vulnerability. And I think overall, it will make us better leaders when we align completely with all aspects of who we are. The Sarah, the mom at home, the Sarah, the woman that's trying to find her way. The Sarah, the professional that can hold the organization together. All of those components are aspects of me. And writing this and releasing this has allowed me to start to weave all of those different versions of myself into one complete version of who I am. And it's been exciting. It's still nerve wracking. I would say I still am tiptoeing into the entire process, but I have been so surprised by the response that I have received when I thought I would.
I thought I would have a more negative view of me once I started to do this.
[00:37:25] Speaker A: It's because it's that external, you know, the external thought process, right. And you know, myself included when it comes to my writing. I was so scared that people are gonna look at what I write and, you know, are they gonna judge me? Are they going to not want to associate themselves with me? Because this is the. I really am, and it's really hard from a professional standpoint. It's, it's. How are they, are they going to look at me differently and. Same thing. I was so pleasantly surprised at the response that I got from my colleagues and my friends and just being able to feel that, and it made me want to open up that much more. And for me personally, that's. That's what brought me on this journey, this show, and my continued writing. And it's because I. I want people to have that same feeling. I want them to experience what we got to experience. And not everyone has the opportunity to experience that. But we all go through it, right? Everyone's going through it. Our stories are completely different, but we're all going through something. And once we start to align with our path, just like you said, all of those different. Everyone sees a different side. I tell everyone I'm like a dice dice, right? Like, we all have a different side. And some people get to see one side, some people get to see two, some people get to see. See three. But not everybody gets to See all sides of Jen. And I finally got to the point in my life where I'm like, you know, I think I'm going to show everybody all of the sides. And that is scary. And allowing yourself to do that and putting it in writing, you put that in writing. The whole world has the opportunity to see this now, right? And you're like, oh, so everybody's gonna see this. And. But it's a. But it's a beautiful thing because just by you doing so, you've allowed yourself to. To be expressive, to show people that there is that safe space, just like you wanted to connect. And so we're going to take our first break, and when we come back, we're going to dive a little bit deeper into the book and some of the stories. Stay tuned. We'll be right back.
Welcome back. I'm Jen Potter, the host of the wow within, where we meet with authors and writers to talk about the story that's inside of us. There's a story inside of everyone that we really want to tell. Today I am joined with Sarah Elizabeth. She is talking about a new book that she recently wrote in 2024, where she talks about her journey, going through life and the expectations of others and finally finding the path to herself. And we all have been through a different part of our lives with isolation and expectations and, you know, trying to fit into the molds that we don't necessarily know how to fit into and to meet other people's expectations, myself included. And that feeling of not being able to be our true, authentic self sometimes is really, really difficult for us. And over time, we get to a point where we really want to be the person that we are inside. And when we start to do that, it's really hard for people that are used to being around us where we're always listening to this internal dialogue, but not necessarily talking about it on the outside. And when we get to a point in our lives where we're ready to tell the world who we are, show our true, authentic self, it can be a little scary because we're finally saying, hey, this is really who I am. And people that are around us don't necessarily understand what that's like because they've seen just one side of us, but we're finally ready to show all of the sides. And that's exactly what Sarah did. She put herself out there. She made herself vulnerable. She started talking about her journey and everything that she's gone through. And one of the things that we talked about during the break was that we both have kids with different abilities. And I'm a firm believer that my, my children all together, but especially my son, he has made me the person that I am. He has taught me patience, just like we talked about Sarah, and has really forced me to be able to push myself to that next level. So I want to bring Sarah back on and I want to talk a little bit about, you know, how that has helped to shape and change your perspective. Because, you know, when we have kids with different abilities, we have to be able to see our. We have to be able to see the world through their eyes. And I think that that is what really changed my perspective on so many things, is seeing the world through my children's eyes, especially my son, who has to deal with, you know, seeing the world a little differently.
[00:42:12] Speaker C: I agree completely and I will say in full disclosure, when I first was becoming a mom, I thought that I was going to have it all figured out. I thought I would have all the answers. I thought my children would look to me as the, the be all and end all of all the wisdom of the world. I just really thought that I would know what I was doing when I got to this point. And you know, I would say my cracks started when my daughter was born and she came into this world, not necessarily planned, I had to have an unplanned C section. And right there I was like, oh my gosh, I am totally not in control in this environment. And then when I was pregnant with my second, I thought, you know, this is great. I have a toddler, I know what I'm doing. And my little guy was born and a few years into his life found that he was level one autistic. And having those two babies in my world completely opened up a new perspective. It really forced me to look at life through their lens and not necessarily try and impart what I thought life should be like, but really allow them to be who they are. And when you're raising a child with special needs or differing needs, especially when there's a neurodivergence involved, the more you try and force them into your world, the more they push you away and reject what you're trying to do. And, you know, I think that they're such a gift to all of us because they force us to open our eyes and, and see life in a way that maybe we should be seeing it. You know, I share a story in my book about how I was at the, at the school drop off and my daughter was in the front seat and she saw this truck in front of us that was plastered with bumper stickers that should not be on school grounds by any stretch. And she and I were both scared that my son was going to read them from the backseat, have them memorized in a half a second and walk into school saying all of these things that were awful. And you know, my ex husband once told me, he said, sarah, you can't change the world for Joey. And I thought, you know, I can't change it, but maybe I can start saying, is this really the world that we want to raise our children in? You know, I think they have challenged me to try and say who do I want to be as a person and as a role model and what type of world do I want to help create so that children can thrive and not deal with all of the stressors that we've had to grow up with.
[00:44:47] Speaker A: Right. And you know, you're absolutely right when you say we can't control, you know, the outside world, but we can control, you know, the things that are within, within our hands and, you know, our perspectives and you know, even the things that I say to my own children, I'll, I'll say something to them about, you know, someone will say something to them and, and I always tell them, I'm like, don't react. You have the opportunity to continue to do what you're doing and don't react. The amount of patience and less reactivity that I have personally gone through and you know, my background, I, you know, I tell everyone I have a very reactive nationality. And so like the first thing that I want to do is like, I want to react like it's my natural, like with everything. I'm just like, stop and, and take it back and just be patient and just not react, but give the other person the opportunity or that outside force. And it's, it's so hard as a parent, never mind a parent who has a kid with a different ability and being able to educate and not react has been one of the hardest lessons that I personally had to learn. But I also think, just like you said, with your journey and that outside expectation, I feel like it ties it all together because being able to change your way of thinking, you've had to do it all the way around. Not just with you personally, but with your relationships and with your children and, and when you start to change that focus, it also starts to change, you know, how other people view you and I. That's beautiful.
[00:46:19] Speaker C: Yes. I think it's teaching us tolerance. Right, right. Within our own homes. If I can't control My emotions and my response to my child. You know, how am I going to be able to be tolerant when I go out into the world and, and vice versa? You know, I think as parents, we're still those role models. So if we're driving in the car and we completely lose our pat, or if we're insensitive at the grocery store and rush through and don't pause to say, can I help you? Or you look beautiful, or, you know, any, anything that we can do just to show that compassionate side of human beings. They're like little sponges and absorbing that for us. So I think it goes, I think it really goes both ways. While they're teaching us tolerance, compassion, patience, we have that opportunity to take that lesson and then emulate it. Not just when we're telling them what to do, but into our everyday approach of how we live our own lives.
[00:47:19] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. And I think it's, you know, one of the things I took into consideration when I told my story or started to tell my story, is my kids are going to read this someday and I want them to be able to look back and go, this is what mom went through. This is, you know, and it. And to teach them something. And I think for us, opening ourselves up and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, we're also teaching our kids how to be vulnerable at an earlier age. I mean, we didn't learn until we were in our late 30s, early 40s. Right. You know, like, I, I talk about things sometimes and I'm like, I didn't start doing that till like two years ago. And you know, but there are things that my 12 year old is doing that I never have the confidence to do. And I think we're being able to teach this next generation that, you know, you don't have to stuff it all in. Because I think our generation, I mean, from my perspective personally was, oh, you have a problem. Push it down a little bit further. Don't talk about it. You know, there. Morena Lambert made a song about it. You know, keep your lips shut, don't say anything. And every time I hear that song, I cringe. And I was like, no, that's, that's not it. Like, that's not the right message that we want to send to our children. We want to be able to talk about those things, express our vulnerabilities. And I think allowing yourself to be vulnerable and talk about your story and talk about your children, it's only teaching our kids that it's okay to have those conversations and as well as other People that are our age, both men and women, and everyone's reading that story going, okay, it's not just me. And you might be able to get one person to open up and tell their story, because when one person comes to you, and I'm sure that they already have, and they're like, I was able to tell my story because I read your book, and that one person, I'm like, I bald the first time that that happened. And every time you make that impact on someone, you realize you're like, all right, this is the reason why I did what did.
[00:49:12] Speaker C: Yeah. You know, ultimately, I just want to create a safe space where people can choose to be vulnerable. I think that that's really the only way that as a society or as a culture or, you know, as parents, as women, as mothers, lovers, you know, in any relationship dynamic, having that ability to really let down the walls and give others permission to do the same and then to raise a generation of kids where being vulnerable and authentic is just the natural part of who they are, that will be probably the biggest gift that I could get out of this journey that I've been on so far.
[00:49:51] Speaker A: And I. I think that that's amazing, and that's exactly what you. You strive for in your book, and you're already seeing it come to fruition, and, you know, by creating the safe space, allowing others to do the same. And I hope as you continue through this journey and speaking more on stage and speaking more on podcasts, that you're able to continue to. To tell this mission and tell your story, because it is beautiful. Like I said, 20 minutes in, I'm like, I have to send you a text message, and I have to tell you, like, I'm sucked into the story because I felt every inch of it. So if. If you haven't read it, you got to get the book. Tell everyone how they can get the book, how they can get ahold of you and all the things.
[00:50:28] Speaker C: Sure. So it is available on Amazon, also on Barnes and Noble. I do have a website. It's www.sarahelizabeth.icu. and you can find me on Facebook at. Beautifully free. Entirely capable. That's where I post most of my daily musings as I continue on this journey of life. But I hope you enjoy it, and I look forward to hearing everybody's thoughts on it.
[00:50:53] Speaker A: Awesome. Well, thank you so much for sharing a part of your journey and being on the show today. I look forward to having you again soon and working with you on other endeavors. So thank you so much.
[00:51:02] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:51:03] Speaker A: Well, that wraps up our wow within. Thank you so much for joining us for our first episode. We really hope that you enjoyed it and that you stick around to find the wow within you.
[00:51:15] Speaker B: This has been a NOW Media Network's feature presentation. All rights reserved.
