Episode Transcript
[00:00:22] Speaker A: Welcome back to the wow Within. I'm Jen Potter, your host, and we're welcoming back Tanika Jones, who is a coach and an amazing inspiration.
Every time I talk to her, I get super excited. Thank you so much for being back today.
[00:00:36] Speaker B: Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me. Glad to be here.
[00:00:40] Speaker A: And we had an amazing conversation the last time we talked. We were talking about, you know, identifying yourself, you know, after you leave the military, who you were before to who you are today.
And one of the things that we left off on was we talked about mentorship and, you know, coaches and therapists and all of the things, and it was about community.
And.
And when we were talking earlier today, we started talking about a chapter in your book that you recently published. Do you want to talk a little bit more about that?
[00:01:15] Speaker B: Yes.
So the book Riding the Ways to self Confidence is the first book that I wrote, and it's one of my pillars of flawless. Right? We talked about flawless. And my definition of flawless and the pillars of flawless is self love, confidence and resilience. So this is my book, and it talks about self confidence and it's riding the ways of self confidence. And in this book, when it says chapter five, we talk about the community and having that sisterhood tribe, where I describe it in the book as an ecosystem. Right. We all are empowered seashells, and I equate that to seashells in the book because if you throw a seashell out in the water, in the ocean, it's going to have a ripple effect. Just like a community. Right. Just like a sisterhood. Right. We want to be able to empower other women. Right. As we go along in life. Like, we want to be able to be that person who reach out to another sister in need or another person in general in need, or whether it's through financially mental, they're struggling with relationships, anything they're struggling with or having a hard time with, we want to be that person to help them along and give a helping hand to that person.
[00:02:42] Speaker C: I really love that.
[00:02:44] Speaker A: And just having that community and that feeling is something that everybody should experience.
And so, you know, finding your community, finding your tribe, finding, you know, a place that makes you feel really good when you're. When you're in this place. You know, we started talking about, you know, navigating through our. Our identity, right. Finding the places that we feel the most comfortable in. And so how does that make you feel like, you know, when you're going through all of these changes and when you're. You're in A room in a place that you feel yourself and confident.
[00:03:21] Speaker B: So for me, I had to discover who I was once again behind the identity that I had, which. Behind the nurse, behind the veteran, right? So get rid of these roles and expectations that society tell us who we need to be or set for us, right? So I had to rewrite my own story, right. That I told myself for years, right? I wasn't worthy enough, was good enough, all these enoughs, right? So. So I had to ask myself, who is Tameka? Who am I when no one is watching, right?
I have a voice, right? I have a story. I have purpose. So I had to rewrite my narrative and rediscover who Tameka really was behind all these identities, right?
So that's how I discovered my identity beyond the role of a veteran or as a nurse or as a mom.
[00:04:12] Speaker A: You know, and figuring out what feels comfortable and funny. Earlier today, I was in a completely different meeting and I was. I was, you know, doing some work, but it's also someone who is a friend. And listening to you talk was like, oh, my goodness, this happened to me today. And we were. We were talking and, you know, I looked at her and I said, you know what I really love about this? And she said, what? I said, I can be my absolute self and. And I enjoy being here. And what it made me realize was how much I actually don't enjoy some other previous friendships because of how authentic I can be in this one. And I was like, I think. I think this is part of, like, the evolution and like finding your people. But I literally had this conversation this morning, and when you start to realize who those people are, you're like, oh, it took me a long time to get here, but wow, this feels great, right?
[00:05:12] Speaker B: Right?
Yeah, it does. And it's important, it's important to separate also your self worth from these professional titles too. Or, you know, because titles change, they come and go, but your worth does not. Right?
You're valuable simply because you exist. Simply because we exist, we're valuable, okay? Not because what we do, but because we exist. Right?
[00:05:35] Speaker C: Right.
[00:05:35] Speaker B: And once those title, those titles go away, then who are you to the core?
So it's important to focus not just on the titles, but your work and own it. Right?
[00:05:48] Speaker A: And to feel it from other people who believe it too.
And I say it every time. I'm like, I love talking to you because I feel my worth when I talk to you. I feel my most authentic self. I feel that when I talk, you are listening. And to feel that from another you know, human, another woman, another. A person who I want to be in my corner. It's. It's such a beautiful feeling. And that. True, like you said, sisterhood, that. That feeling of, like, that warm hug of this feels good.
[00:06:24] Speaker B: Yes. And that community is everything. I feel.
[00:06:29] Speaker A: It is. And, you know, when we talk last, you talked about who are you?
And that has sat with me every day. It has sat with me. That conversation has sat. And I've sat with myself just going, who are you? Who is who. Who is the person that's showing up today? Who is the person? Like you said, down to my core. And I cried a few times over the last time that we talked because it was like, we're. We're. We're talking about this so our. Our viewers could listen to it. But as me, like, I showed up as me, and I was so in that feel of that question that I was like, wow. Like, I thought I was showing. Like, I thought I knew who I was today, but maybe I changed.
[00:07:13] Speaker C: Right.
[00:07:13] Speaker A: That's why when we talked at the beginning, I'm like, how do you want to be introduced? Because you know what? Today, it may be different.
[00:07:18] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:07:19] Speaker A: And it was. But it's so beautiful that, like, just this conversation is a perfect example of how you have. How you've impacted my life. And we've never met in person. And I'm like, I love Nika. Like, she's a friend. I consider you a friend. And it's. And it's wild because of how technology exists that you can create these bonds and these relationships and community and sisterhood just by. Just by this.
[00:07:46] Speaker B: Yes, yes. And it's a choice, right? We choose our identity. We can choose to be. You know, we were just talking about that. Look at life in a negative way, or we can choose to look at life in a positive way. And the best part about it is, once again, we have a choice, right? Yes.
[00:08:03] Speaker A: That's my motto. So I choose my motto. And because we choose to put ourselves in these positions, but by doing so, the example that I gave about this morning, the example of us being, you know, being here and being in this moment, we. We choose all of these things.
[00:08:19] Speaker C: They. We.
[00:08:20] Speaker A: And we create this positive energy and all of this. You have so much positive energy just rating radiating off of you all of the time that I'm like, oh, I want more. And.
And that's a beautiful feeling.
[00:08:32] Speaker B: Like, it's.
[00:08:32] Speaker A: It's so beautiful. And it. It really starts to.
Finding that place. And what feels good, I feel, for me, has made it easier for me to lean into my purpose.
[00:08:46] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:08:47] Speaker A: And, and, and because I felt like I was going about it all wrong, Right. You're like, my purpose lies in this one thing. My purpose is, you know, we have lots of purposes, right? But like, we get so stuck in this construct of like a box. So when you are going through your journey, and I think we are every single day.
[00:09:06] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:09:07] Speaker A: What does it mean, creating your purpose, like in your vision, in your eyes and how you see it today.
[00:09:13] Speaker B: Right?
And it's funny, Jim, because I didn't.
I wasn't always clear on my purpose.
Like I told you before, growing up in a broken childhood, having, you know, my mom, boyfriend, tell me, you'll be a nobody just like your mom, you know? You know, my mom struggled with addiction, you know, drugs, alcohol, all the things. And just hearing that all, all my life, I felt like, who am I? I don't have a purpose. You know, I'm gonna be just like my mom when I grew up, you know, and that was one of my fears.
So for me to be able to create a life that aligns with my purpose, I had to stop settling and start telling a different story, right?
And I got clear on what I wanted in life and who I am. I think that's the first step, just getting clarity on who are you, right? Those identities, right? And also these self limiting beliefs, right, that we tell ourselves when we believe, that we're programmed to believe, whether it's through a story we made up, our family told us or society told us, right? And they're sneaky. These, these limiting beliefs, these, you know, doubts. They're like the guards, right? I think of them as the guards at Buckingham palace, right? The guards are standing there and the Queen has to allow them, you know, hey, yes, I want that person to come in or go out. Other than that you cannot get in or you can'. Go out. But we have to be mindful that there are guards, right? And we have to be able to say, no, they have to go, right? Because I choose to walk in my purpose, right?
So I had to seek therapy once again, like I said, seek therapy and a life coach to help me get through or walk through my journey that I was on, right?
But I had to make a choice, right? Once again, those choices and identify who Tamika really was at the time, right? And execute, right? You could, you can believe, right? Believe and feel. You can tell yourself all day long, I am this, I am bold. I was going over my affirmations early and I was just. Even my Shirt, right? Affirmations. We can say this all day long, right? We can say it till I. But if you don't feel it or believe it, it's in vain. So we have to believe it and we have to feel it, right?
[00:11:28] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely.
It's like listening to music and, you know, it like touches your soul, right? And you cry. That's what it has, like, to me, that's what that feeling is like when you get those goosebumps and you're like.
[00:11:43] Speaker C: Oh, yes, this is it.
[00:11:46] Speaker A: And, and it's, it's, it's a beautiful feeling.
[00:11:49] Speaker C: It really is, right, because you become it.
[00:11:51] Speaker B: You become every. You become it. You become it, right?
[00:11:54] Speaker A: You absolutely do. And you know, the more you believe it, the more you feel it. It just, it exists. And like, even for yourself, like you wearing a shirt with the affirmations is you saying, this is what I'm going to choose today. This is what, you know, this is what I'm going to tell myself. And this is, this is the message I want to put out there. And that alone is that like that. Step right in that direction.
[00:12:16] Speaker B: Yes. I had this shirt on in the airport and I was in Atlanta airport some years ago and last year, year before last, I had it on and this lady saw it and she circled me and she read it and she just started crying and she was like, you don't know how much you blessed me with this shirt because I'm going through a divorce at the time. And he took everything and she was just bawling and I'm like, oh, just call me if you need, you know, here's my car. This is my brand apparel, you know, and I would send you one.
I can hear from her, though. But, you know, just, just to be able to minister some to someone in the airport, let them know, no, you are worthy, you are enough, you are beautiful, you are bold, you are kind, you are all these things, right?
So, yeah, see, you spoke to her.
Yes, yes, yes.
[00:13:03] Speaker A: It's a beautiful thing.
We're going to talk a little bit more. It flies by as usual, so stay tuned. We'll be right back.
[00:13:19] Speaker C: It.
[00:13:45] Speaker A: Welcome back to the wow.
[00:13:46] Speaker C: Within My Being is Jen Potter and.
[00:13:49] Speaker A: I am the host. And today we have been talking with Tamika Jones. She joined us in a few previous episodes and she's back talking about a lot of amazing things such as sisterhood, self identity and finding love within ourselves. Thank you so much for being back here.
[00:14:05] Speaker B: Hey, thank you for having me again, Jen. Thank you.
[00:14:08] Speaker A: Absolutely.
And so when we were just Talking before the break, we were talking about finding that sisterhood, that place that makes you feel truly authentic and, and really finding our purpose. And I'm sure, you know, just like I know my own journey, I know a lot about yours, that getting to that place isn't always the easiest. Right. And in one of the previous segments, you talked about your pillars of flawlessness.
[00:14:36] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:14:36] Speaker A: And for me, it, listening to you say it. And one of the words is confidence. That word sticks out so much so that I wrote it down like, you know, previously, like there, there's just the way that you describe it and the confidence that you have around creating it came from a place of self doubt.
And so tell me, tell me what, what pushed you to create that? And you know, you have brand, a brand all around it and everything that you're doing and, and it radiates from you and you live and breathe it. So tell us a little bit more about it.
[00:15:12] Speaker B: So I based my whole brand around the word flawless, right? Because when we think of the word flawless, we think of something aesthetically beautiful. We think about the JLo's, the Beyonce's, the Celine Dion's, right? We think about all of them because they're beautiful, of course. But my definition of flawless is totally different. My definition of flawless is resilience, confidence and self love. Three pillars of flawless. And how that came about is that I struggled with my flaws all my life. From my birthmark, alopecia, public sphere of public speaking, all these things that held me back, who I, what I allowed to become a hindrance in my life. I turned it from pain into passion, into purpose, right? So for me, confidence, I didn't always exude confidence, right. I didn't always embody self love, but I had to become that, right? So through my therapy and through life coaching and through all the things and through, through me just wanting to be a better person, right? And wanting to be a better person for myself as well as my daughter. I had to step into all of that, right? And in my book, this is my other book, it's cultivating your inner garden. Because once again, the three pillars of flawless. Self love, confidence. Right. And resilience. Right? So self love, chapter four. I talk about watering with self compassion. And I'm going to read a little.
[00:16:55] Speaker A: Bit.
[00:16:57] Speaker B: Paragraph here for you. Self compassion is the gateway to self kindness. And self kindness is the cornerstone of personal growth and true well being.
Without it, we cannot fully embrace the journey of becoming who we are meant to be.
So there was a time I stood in America crying Trying to find my purpose and picking every flaw that I had apart, right?
Every flaw that I had apart. But I had to be honest with myself and give myself grace, right?
And step into the purpose and that I was step into the purpose, step into the role of the person who God has called me to be, right?
So we have to give ourselves compassion, self compassion and grace, right? Cultivating your inner garden of self love.
Watering yourself, watering yourself with self compassion. We have to do that daily, right? We have to give ourselves grace. We have to show ourselves, give ourselves love and be kind to ourselves, right? Because every day is not a pretty day, right? And life is life for everybody right now. But we have to take the time out to give ourselves grace and water our inner garden with self compassion.
[00:18:27] Speaker A: We don't do, we don't do that enough. Like even, you know, when we preach it, I feel that for, for me personally, when I have to tell someone, you, you should do this, I'm like, oh, that's a reminder that I should be doing this.
And you know, listening to, I need to be doing this and, and I do it and I actively do it. But the reminder, the reminder of, yes, you need to be doing this. And it is practice, right? You know, every day is a practice and every day is going to be harder. You know, some days are gonna be harder than others and. But it's, it's that constant, like you said, showing up. It's giving yourself that grace and it's, and it's allowing, allowing it to kind of happen in front of you. And you know, I feel like when we fight things, you know, you think, I want this, but if you are fighting so hard to get something, I think it's the universe going, it's not part of your path, my friend. But keep fighting me, you know, and, and I was like, and for a long time, I was the fighter. I was, I was like, don't tell me I can't do this. Don't tell me I can't do this. And I'm like, I probably should have have done that.
But, but that's the only way for me personally, like, I am that person that just has to keep hitting the wall. And it took a long time, you know, to, to hear what you just said and accept it. I would be like, absolutely, no, I don't have time for that, you know, and, and because I think it was just fighting it.
[00:19:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Or sometimes just not yet, right? Sometimes not yet, right? But we want it, like you said, we fight, we want it now, but then we get into that role. Or we get that. I'll say person or whatever, and it's like, oh, why am I in this relationship? Or why did I take this job?
But it wasn't your timing, or it wasn't for you, but you wanted it, so.
[00:20:19] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.
[00:20:20] Speaker A: And then you went and you're like, oh, that wasn't what I thought it was going. Well, I had to show you because you're going to keep hitting your head against the wall. So here you go. And, you know, funny how that happens because then you're like, oh, that makes sense now. Oh, and those things that just seemed a little bit, you know, they were fuzzy, and now they're like, how did I not see that? How. How did I not allow that into my life? And so it's funny, but.
But what I noticed is going back to what we talked about before. When you put yourself in rooms with people who make you feel most comfortable and authentic, chances are the things that you are speaking are for you and.
Right.
Like, you put yourself in a place that you feel the most confident, the place that you like, you know, listening, watering that garden. Girl, I put so much water on this garden. I'm like, I've been trying so hard. And like, I. The more I put other people like yourself in my circle, I go, this is where I want to be. This is. This feels right. And then it's like, oh, look here. Here's this opportunity, here's this person, here's this beautiful conversation. And you're like, putting positive energy out into the universe. And so all the things that you are telling us that, you know, you have experienced, and this, when you start to really lean into it and when you surround yourself with those people, you're.
[00:21:44] Speaker C: Like, huh, no kidding.
[00:21:46] Speaker A: Like, this is. It's so. It makes so much sense, right?
[00:21:50] Speaker B: Then you feel it, right? You feel the energy. And it's like you. It's fun because energy, you. You take energy and you give energy, right? And you can feel it, like. Right.
Yeah.
[00:22:02] Speaker A: Every time we talk, it radiates. And that re. That feeling is the energy that exists in our own bubble. And then when we come together, it's like this, you know, that energy field that, you know, when people, you know, the woo in me and I always, you know, carry around with the, like, producers, like, I'm super woo when it comes, that energy exists. I don't care we're sitting five feet across from each other or 5,000 miles when we can create that energy that amplifying so much that you can be that far away from me and I get goosebumps. Like it's not.
[00:22:37] Speaker B: Nothing's created or destroyed, right?
[00:22:39] Speaker A: Yes, yes.
[00:22:41] Speaker B: Just transfers, right? Nothing's created or destroyed. Yeah.
[00:22:44] Speaker A: And it's beautiful. Like, I love, I love that feeling and I love everything that you have brought to the table and how, where you've, where you've been and where you're going and have continued to evolve even through the time that I have gotten to know you and you know, watching what you've done since, you know, the last ever. Once you created another book, you're stepping more into your purpose and your confidence, I think is way bigger than it was before. Like listening to you talking, you're like, this is what it is.
[00:23:15] Speaker C: And I'm like, damn.
[00:23:16] Speaker A: Like that feeling is such a beautiful feeling. And so if you want to tell our audience how they can get a hold of you, how they can get your book and they can read more, I think that'd be amazing.
[00:23:29] Speaker B: So you can find me or you can go to my website, www.flawlesslifecoaching.com.
everything is flawless with me, right?
That's my website site. Www.flawlesslifecoaching.com Instagram, the same thing. Flawless. Life coaching.com LinkedIn same thing.
Tick tock and Facebook, same thing. All things flawless. Because guess what? You are flawless.
[00:23:57] Speaker C: Don't forget it.
[00:23:58] Speaker A: I love that.
I love that so much. It's funny I was gonna say, you know, right after you said I am flawless. I'm like mic drop. But then you're like flawless. And I'm like, I'm like those two things together, they were powerful. I felt them right here. So thank you. Thank you for showing up today as your authentic self. It was a beautiful conversation and I.
[00:24:21] Speaker C: Look forward to more.
[00:24:22] Speaker B: Thank you, Jen. Thank you for having me. I enjoyed it.
[00:24:25] Speaker A: Bye bye.
[00:24:26] Speaker B: Bye.
[00:24:36] Speaker C: Sam.
Welcome back to the wow Within. I'm Jen Potter and I'm your host. Earlier we were talking with Tamika Jones about sisterhood and creating a community and something that I wanted to dive a little bit deeper in is why community is so important.
Work and business and you know, just in that constant steady motion of just working and you know, just kind of doing my day to day thing. And once I had children, I had to step back from work a little bit and I had to allow what community was to me and you know, going from a full time workaholic mentality to a part time moment, I realized that I didn't have a lot of other friends in, in the area that, you know, had Children that were also working that may have been working part time. And so at the time, this is now almost 13.
And it's funny because I didn't really think much of it until more recently when I started thinking about, you know, creating community.
But about 13, try to figure out what to do with my time. I started a Facebook group and I was like, I'm going to do a meetup to meet with other parents, you know, parents that are home, parents that are working part time, you know, that may have something like minded. And for me, I, you know, put it out there. We're going to meet at this playground at this time time thinking that, you know, maybe 10 parents would show up and something unique happened that day.
We had about, I think 25 to 30 parents showed up with one to two children that day. And it really got me thinking, wow, this is so much more of a need than I thought there was and that this whole community of working, stay at home parents existed, but there wasn't a place for them to gather.
And so for myself and, you know, a few of my other close friends, I decided to start this, this online group, but also this in person group. And for several years as my kids were starting to get older, we would meet up at playgrounds once or twice a week, we would go to the zoo. I created community networks and community.
I didn't realize the footprint that I created in order to grow a community.
And you know, today one of this, this really amazing thing, working with my nephew and doing field day and all, all of these people started coming up to me and started talking to me and they all connected with me because of a group that I created all of these years ago.
And by creating this community and all of these people around me, it's everywhere I go, I know somebody, I have a connection and, and I've realized that I had control over this. And whether or not I chose to believe it or not, but like minded and all very similar. We all have a lot of the same goals and a lot of the same, you know, outlooks on life. And some of my closest friends I have gotten because this group was created and, and it's, you know, in hindsight it's just, it's such an amazing thing. It's, you know, using this practice in every aspect of my life, you'd think that it was something that I probably would have already done, but it wasn't. It wasn't until, you know, more recently that I realized that in order to continue to live a joyful life, I have to Continue to surround myself with people who are like, like minded and want the same things. And as time goes on, those things are going to change, right? Just like the community I create, we're staying home, our children are going to get older and the need are going to be different and we're going to have to adjust and pivot and change a little bit. But continuing to stop and assess and say, okay, these are the people that I want around me, these are the values that I have. And I think when, when we have similar values and similar, you know, ideals, it's, it's easier to want to hang out with somebody and be, be around them.
It's, it's easy here to you know, go and do things with people who bring you joy, you know, and when it just, it, it gives you something that you know, you're not, you're not used to always having.
And for me, I didn't, I didn't have a big support system, I didn't have a big community. And by saying this is something that I'm looking for, I started gravitating towards that. And you know, over time, for myself personally, I've gone through a lot of really big changes when it comes to business and, and my personal life. But in business specifically, when I started my first, I mean one of several businesses, but you know, my first business back in 2000, 2018 was one of my bigger businesses. I, on my community that I created, I was able to say the is this is the business that I have and its values actually aligned with the community that I created that I was able to actually unintentionally. But it was great because I had the community, but I had a target market because I already created it. And by having that target market, by having people who already trusted me, who already believed in me, now they're going to believe in my business.
And, and, and something that has happened in, in all of that was.
[00:32:06] Speaker B: Was.
[00:32:08] Speaker C: Humbling and unique was every business that I need continued business, continued growth and success because of a community that I created by people who were already like minded. And so I think when you are following the path of least resistance in life and you continue to surround yourself with people who have similar values, when you are creating a business or doing something within the community, you're going to have more people support you because not only do they want to support you because they like you, but they want to support you because they believe in your mission. And, and I found that to be something very interesting because I think if I was just to veer off and do something completely loud. But all of the things that I've continued to do have had the same purpose. I want to help people. I want to help people who are parents and have children and, you know, change their life. And the more and more that I continue to put out there that I want to be around people who do things. And I feel it's given me more of a purpose. I feel that I've had this unique opportunity to, to work with people who, who need a little bit of extra love, who need a little bit of extra support and you know, as, as things have slowly grown and evolved, being able to go back to, you know, that first initial community that I created and it was like I said it was for parents, you know, functioning more on its own, which is a very unique thing. And I have people within the community that have, you know, recently stepped up to kind of help, you know, with that continued success and growth because it's not something that I am able to put as much attention into since my children have gotten a little bit older, since I've kind of pulled away from it a little bit. But more recently I have actually started thinking, how can I put my change in perspective back into that in order to help it continue to grow and thrive?
And a lot of it has to do with surroundings yourself, with people who have that same mission, who have that same idea and this sense of fulfillment by being able to have that sense of feeling.
There's, there's so much fulfillment that comes with being able to work within your purpose and help people who, you know, want to do something a little bit different.
And you know, it's just, it was, it was so interesting to me at first. I was having a really hard time trying to, to wrap my head around all of the things that I created in the past and, and bring myself back to where I am and where I was and where I want to go.
And you know, we choose to surround ourselves with people who bring us joy and bring us, you know, fulfillment. Or we can choose a path of being around people who don't, who aren't like minded. But by doing that, you're not going to have the stuff that you want to have because there's always going to be resistance. But the more we're able to kind of reflect, reflect inward and do the things that bring us joy. I think it's a natural extractor for people who want similar things. And you know, there's that, that book by Mel Robbins, I mean, there's several of them, but you know, More recently, the let them theory.
And at first I was skeptical, but the more, wow, this is how I started to change my life, you know, years ago.
And a lot of people have kind of pulled away from me and it wasn't because I was doing anything wrong in my eyes personally, things that brought me joy. And when somebody wants something from you but they're not willing to put in the same effort, you're gonna find that those might not be the people that you want in your community.
Continue to surround yourself with people who make you feel like you're in a tribe, who make you feel like all of the work that you were putting into that friendship, they are also giving back zero expectations, just pure love and pure support. And that will continue to surround yourself.
So when we come back, we're going to talk a little bit more about our purpose and our identity. And stay tuned. We'll be right back.
Welcome back to the wow Within. I'm Jen Potter, your host, and today I'm going to dive a little bit deeper into that community that we are talking about. We talked about it with Tamika. I talked about it a little bit and why it is so important and how it started to build a foundation for pretty much my life. You know, I.
When I was changing everything that I was doing in my life all of those years ago, I was becoming a mom. And I was changing from being a workaholic and working all of these crazy hours to working just a few days a week, that I started to kind of lose my identity in becoming a mom and, you know, trying to figure out, you know, what life was in that realm, that by starting this group for parents, it allowed me to kind of, you know, connect with other people who were going through similar things. And I didn't realize it at the time time, but I was building a foundation for myself.
And as I started to have more children, I have three of them now, As I started to have more children, I started to not just say, I'm a mom, but I'm also Jen, who does this and all of those things. And it.
There was something that Tamika said a few shows ago, and I brought it back up in one of the segments and it was, who is Jen?
And I.
There was something about that that just stopped me dead in my tracks because I know who I am. I know what my purpose is. I know all of the things that I want and I. And I want to be. I'm not just the mom. I'm not just the coach. I'm just not the business owner. There's so much more to me. I am this, you know, I. A light that helps other people see themselves.
And I had to work really hard on myself in order to get to that because it was years ago, you know, when I started, you know, figuring out that I wanted to be a business owner, that I, I thought that, you know, I'm Jen, who wants to be a motivational speaker and I want to change people's lives. And I remember coach saying to me, what are you going to do? And I'm like, well, I'm going to give advice. And the coach was like, what kind of advice are you going to give?
And, you know, I said like, my own real personal advice and my own perspective and all of those things.
And while all of that seemed really good at the time and it did make sense, but it was like, by doing what?
And I couldn't answer the question the way that it needed to be answered because I didn't know. I knew that I have this ability to help other people and I know that I have this ability that when I speak, people listen. And I know when I talk, people listen. And I am being modest when I say that, but I know that that's a gift that I have. And I wasn't sure exactly how to. To use that.
And it wasn't from. Until I realized, you know, a series of different things.
I know that when I talk, people listen, but I've learned over the past several years that speaking isn't necessarily what I, what I want to do. And I know that's funny, right? Because I'm a TV show host and I love to talk and I love to connect with people, but I truly love to listen. And, and what I realized is that the people that I surround myself with are a very unique, beautiful group of people. They're all people that want to help other people.
All of the people that I have in my sphere are people that want to help other people.
And, and that's a beautiful thing when you are with a bunch of people. And I mean, some of them have, you know, recovering people pleaser vibes, myself included. I'm a recovering people pleaser. But it's not from a place of people pleasing. It's from a place of I truly want to help somebody succeed. I truly want to help somebody live their best life.
You know, when I speak with Tamika, one of the reasons why I think we get along so well is because I truly feel connected to her personal mission, her purpose to help people see themselves as flawless, building self confidence, self love, and all of those things and how important they are when, when we're, you know, when we're changing and evolving. And you know, it wasn't until I started going through different parts of my life and start realizing my self confidence, my self worth, all of the things that bring me joy and bring me peace like I talked about, right? And going back to that community and going back to like where we were and, and talking about, you know, all of the things that, that I want to achieve in life. And it wasn't until I sat back and I started to listen a little bit more. I sat back and I started listening to the people within my community and all of the things that they wanted to do and they wanted to achieve.
And then I started connecting something very beautiful.
I have this ability to get people to listen to me.
What if I took that ability and started using it for other people's purposes? What if someone like Tamika has something that she needs to talk about and she needs to be seen? How can I get her to be seen?
How can I get the person who wants to write a book out there in front of that audience?
So I started a publishing company because I know that writing is one of my things that I love to do.
But can I let other people or give other people the opportunity to tell their story? Because I have that ability as a coach.
I help people change their lives. And it, I think the only reason why I have that, you know, that ability is because I've been personally given advice by my clients. I have changed their lives so drastically by help guiding them that they've turned around and said, when are you going to take your own advice?
And it wasn't until I got that when are you going to take your own advice from a client?
Was, wow, people are listening to my advice and it is truly changing their lives. My advice must be something worth listening to if someone's telling me to take my own.
And so, you know, going through all of these things on my own has really been an amazing, humbling thing because I stem it all back to surrounding yourselves by like minded people.
Being a part of a community that helps you grow and thrive and succeed and helps you to see your own self worth, your own love and compassion that you have and being able to give that back.
I can't express what it feels like to watch somebody else that, you know, has an amazing story to tell, to tell their story. It's why I created this show. It's why, you know, when I, when I said I want people to talk about why they do what they do? Why are they so passionate about what they do? My passion is to watch other people succeed. And I get a. I get emotional about it because for the longest time, I thought it was me. I thought it was me that was supposed to be that person who is supposed to be the center of attention. Then I realized I don't even like being the center of attention, but I love making other people the center of attention. And it wasn't until I had that epiphany that who is Jen?
Flashback to the coach asking me, well, how are you going to change other people's lives?
And.
And when. When you get to that place because you've surrounded yourself by so many people who love you and support you and believe in you, you realize that you are exactly where you were supposed to be and that all of those things that you have reiterated to other people to believe in themselves, to empower them, to make them feel good and confident, and you stop and say, wow, this is it. This is where I'm supposed to be today. And will that change tomorrow? Will it change in a year or six months from now, you know, or, you know, six years from now? It may.
But I know that today I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, surrounding myself with people that, you know, want to continue to grow and continue to tell their story.
And again, here, right, I've told. I've told this audience parts of my story and parts of, you know, the reason why I do all the things that I do.
So to bring it all back into full circle.
This show was created for people to tell their stories, to create a tribe, to create a community, to be able to, you know, bring all of these people together into a place that allows our listeners to know that they're not alone, to know that there's a community of people that exist to welcome with open arms, that if you have a story to tell, if you feel connected to anything that I'm saying, you are the person that I want to talk to. You are the person that I want to amplify your voice because I believe that our stories are powerful and there's someone else out there going through what we're going through. And sometimes we need to tell our stories to let other people know that they're not alone and to help them grow and succeed and change.
So until next time, I'm Jen Potter, your host. Have a great day.
